Pushing Pause

"You're holding James aren't you?" my mother asks me as soon as I answer the phone.  I guess there is something in my voice ("gushing with love" are the words I think she used) that gives it away when I take this sweet baby in my arms.

It is true, James is like a little sunshine.  The room feels brighter and warmer when he is in it.  I can't get enough of his big open mouth smiles, and the way his eyes light up when he gets excited.  I love how he looks when he first wakes up, his baby hair sticking up on one side and his eyes still puffy with sleep, as he sits in the center of (our) bed waiting for someone to come pick him up.  And how he reaches for his Daddy when Arthur gets home from work and smothers his face into Arthur's uniform for a few seconds before resting his head on his chest.  You can almost hear him say, "Daddy, I missed you!"

I can hardly believe my Littlest Bubba has been here for more than Nine months.  I'm not sure if the time is flying or if babies just change so much in such a short amount of time...but since they haven't invented the Mommy Pause button yet, I will do the next best thing...blog it!


James is our dare devil.  I feel like he views the world (and our living room) as a series of challenges that need to be conquered.  I don't know how many times he has bumped his head trying to climb up (over, on or through) something.  You know you know he is up to something when you hear his chubby little hands smack the tile as he quickly makes a crawl for it.


Speaking of crawling...he does that with his own little style.  Arthur jokes that he crawls like a skate boarder.  He crawls on his left knee as he pushes with his right foot.  It is very entertaining to watch, but it is obviously efficient because he is fast.

When the bathroom door is closed and and he has enough of climbing up and over the kitchen chairs, you are likely to find him playing in Jake's room.  I love walking in there and watching him standing at the train table or running cars over the car mat.  He still looks like such a baby, but he is starting to play just like a big boy.  It is the most adorable site.  While he likes playing in there with Jake, I think he enjoys himself even more when he has free reign (and really, who can blame him?).

While his skater crawl has helped to reduce his frustration in his inability to walk, it certainly hasn't weakened his resolve.  If James can find willing hands, it is on.  He will grab on and happily march around the house until either his assistants back begins to hurts from leaning over for too long or something on the ground catches his attention.  He is also constantly working on his balance.  The other night he spent over an hour pulling himself up on things (or people), stabilizing, and letting go.  Each time he fell, he'd just do it again.  My favorite is when he gets so excited that he raises his hands over his head and beams or gives himself a big round of applause.  Where proud of you too, Baby Boy!

James said a new word this week.  Jake and Arthur were standing in the street talking to a neighbor and petting her black lab.  I came out with James to grab something from the car.  "Daw! Daw!"  He yelled.  I would have been oblivious of it being anything more than his usually baby babble, if he hadn't been lunging out of my arms.  After a second I realized what had caught his eye...the "Daw!"  Of course!  So we walked down the driveway.  I, of course, start gushing about his new word, and James of course was silent.  Luckily, after a few minutes (just about the time I'm sure everyone else was thinking I was full of it), James said it again.  Arthur was impressed, but the neighbor was in shock.  "How old is he?!?" Yep that's our boy.  And okay, he did call a horse a dog a few hours later, but at least he is grouping animals together. :-)

Like his older brother, James treats falling asleep like a battle he refuses to lose.  He wiggles and squirms, determined not to let his body relax and desperate not to give into to those heavy lashes.  But eventually he sleeps...like an angel.

I feel blessed every day for my amazing boys.  You wonder how, after the first, you will ever love anyone else so much.  And then the second one comes, and you understand.  A parents heart just gets bigger and more and more love exists.  They are life's greatest gift.  Thank you James for staying...I couldn't imagine our lives without you.

It's time for another edition of Jake quotes....

1)  As Robyn, the little boys, and I pulled into the Lowe's parking lot, our conversation somehow turned to growing up and going away to college.  Obviously, my babies heading off to college is not my favorite of topics so I said, "Don't talk about it.  Even though you drive me crazy sometimes, it makes Mommy sad to think about you going away to college."
"It's okay Mommy, I'll just go to a close college."
I will be sure to remind him of this when the times comes. :-)

2) Sick with a cold and in need of a nap has a way of heightening Jake's dramatics.  Frustrated over something he started to cry.  Aunt Robyn asked, "Are you a baby or a big boy?"  "Big boys cry sometimes too!!"  Jake spat back at her...

3) Jake is still adjusting to sharing the spotlight in this family.  So I shouldn't have been surprised when Jake walked over to the photos on the sofa table and announced, "Before James was born these were all pictures of me."  He wasn't so much mad as he just wanted me to know that he had noticed the change.  The best part is, I have only gotten around to changing out two of the six frames and he is still in one of them. Not to mention that I haven't even touched the wall photos so they still are all pictures of him.

4) But I guess he can't think big brotherhood is too bad because as he chatted away with a young woman (Jake has never met a stranger...especially when that stranger is a pretty girl) about our family he announced, "We're thinking about having a baby girl."  Then he explained that we can have a baby girl and "still keep James."  While I love that he feels he is so included in family decisions, I would like to add that, at this time, we are not thinking about having another baby...girl or otherwise.

4) Jake is spoiled, he'll even tell you that, especially when it comes to his extended family.  Being the first grandchild and great grandchild...well, he has a lot of grownups in his life that like to make all three year old desires come true.  So I am wondering how Apa will fulfill Jake's heartfelt request on Skype the other day.  "I want a 3T violin."  I think that was his way of saying he wanted a violin just his size.

5) Jake has actually wanted a violin for months.  After receiving a beautiful engraved harmonica from his Nana he told us, "If I were bigger, I wish this was a violin."  So hopefully, his growing appreciation for classical music will continue (Tchaikovsky is his favorite) and he will be our little musician.

6) Our next door neighbor, April, is the best!  She is the one who will always let me steal an egg (or butter...or vanilla...or anything else I am out of).  We love having her over and I try to pay her back with dinners as often as possible.  While we all adore her, Jake would probably tell you that April is his friend.  Nearly every time she comes over she spends at least an hour on the floor playing whatever Jake wants.  She'll even let Jake sequester her in his bedroom as they hunt for deer with his Apache action figure.  Recently Jake has caught on that April is married to someone he refers to as her "big boy."  However, between being stationed at another post and a year deployment, he is usually away.  So when April stopped by the other night, it warmed my heart to hear Jake ask with concern in his voice, "Did you come over because you're lonely?"

7) Jake's new found empathy and compassion surfaced again this weekend.  We were at a b-day BBQ for a friend, and the night was winding down.  Most of the children had already headed home. Then I heard Jake's voice sweetly asking, "Do you feel better now?"  He was speaking so softly that I could not hear much of what he was saying, but between his tone and the lack of response I just assumed he was taking to a stuffed animal or something.  Then he stuck his head into the room I was in and announced, "I'm just making a little girl feel better."  When she popped her head in, I asked Jake if he had asked her here name.  Very politely he asked the girl her name, but each time she said it, he could not quite understand her.  After several attempts he tired to make it out, "Grandma?!?" he asked.  I could here the great confusion in his voice, but I could also tell how hard he was trying to understand her.  "No!" she said back obviously frustrated.  As she said it again, I strained to listen so I could help out.  It turned out her name was Clara...Good try Buddy.