Our Big Baby Jonah Bear

Blogging = Pictures.  There is no way around it.  When I sit down to write and I start to reflect, I immediately realize how behind I am at journaling this little life of ours.  This triggers the uncontrallable impulse to grab my camera and "capture a moment."

So the lucky winner of today's little photo shoot is our little Jonah Bear!  

His four month birthday is still a over a week away but according to my latest Osh Kosh order, he is the size of the average nine month old.  At 18.6 lbs, I am pretty sure he is trying to keep pace with his Grandpa Dave, who weighted something like 32 lbs on his 1st birthday.  All my babies have been chunky, but Jonah is our first "big" baby.  He is the first one to be setting the curves on the growth charts for weight and height.  He looks just like Jamie did as a baby, except he is literally twice the size.  We all love it even if carrying him around has become a serious work out!

When I was pregnant with Jonah, Arthur and I mentioned (more than once) how nice it would be if this new baby had a dispossession like James.  He has always been our sweet one.  Don't get me wrong, we adore Jacob and Scarlett, they are amazing, but James...he is just a little love!  And somehow it happened, so far Jonah is so much like our Jamie Do.  He seems to have a familiar sweetness to his older brother.  And like James, he is also a great little sleeper!  Besides waking up to eat, he has slept during the night since day one.  He actually tried to sleep through his birth.  He seriously didn't cry.  I was so terrified at how quiet he was and I was sure it was because his lungs weren't ready.  I actually tried to hand him to the nurse (cord still attached), but when she waved off the respiratory techs, I realized that he was actually just trying to sleep.

Now that he has finished his "forth" trimester, he is a little less sleepy, but he may actually have James beat as our best sleeper.  He rarely cries, and if he does it usually means he wants his Mommy.  He has the most amazing pouty lip and the most convincing "momma" cry.  But since he is usually in my arms or snuggled tight in the Moby wrap, he stays pretty content.  He has become quite the little talker.  I adore it when he stops eating just to tell me something as he gazes intently into my eyes.  Sometimes I am sure he is saying, "I love you."  His brothers and sisters can't get enough of him, and they have all developed their own little tricks to make him smile and laugh.

As evenident his amazing cheeks and countless rolls, our Jonah is also a stellar nurser!  But nursing is not just about the eating for this boy, it is also about the snuggles.  Jonah is such a cuddle bug!  The only problem is, Daddy and I are the only ones strong enough to hold him.  Jake still pitches in when I need a hand, but it isn't too long before he is begging me to take him back.  Scarlett and James have pretty much given up.  Jonah may be our baby, but I don't think he will be the littlest for long.  But large or small, Jonah fits perfectly into our family.  We love you Sweet Boy!

Loosing Myself in Them

I love taking pictures...especially of my kids, but the problem with taking them is that you are rarely in them.  So, even before Jonah was born, I decided that this time I was going to be in the pictures.  I have been stalking following a local photographer for several years now, and so picking a photographer was an easy choice.

The pictures were taken the day before Jonah turned one month.  When I received the final images last week I was amazed to see how much he has already grown (no, really...my 3 month old weighs 18.6 pounds and is showing no signs of slowing down).

I am in love with these pictures...even the few I am in.  There is something very symbolic to me about the posing...me sitting, surrounded almost completely, by my four amazing children.  People often caution, "Don't loose yourself in your children."  "One day they will grow up and leave," they warn.  And it is true.  One day (all too soon I am sure), they will grow up and begin lives of their own.  It is what they are suppose to do...what I am hopefully raising them to do.  But if not loosing myself in that process is part of the deal, than I have already failed.  And it is too late to go back now, the girl I was, nearly a decade ago, has been forever lost.   But I am okay with that.  Through motherhood, through this process of "loosing"  myself (more and more with each precious addition), I have realized that I am actually finding myself.  And even when they no longer physically surround me, I will still never be just me.  Each one of my children test and bless me in ways that forever alter me.   I am who I am because of them.  Just as I can see myself reflected in each of them, my children have become part of my own refection.

Motherhood, there is nothing else like it...