You may wonder why it has taken a year for this incredible day to be memorialized on this little online journal of mine...and to be honest, I am not exactly sure.
I think part of it was superficial. The day "looked" very little like I had imagined it would. Originally, I had hoped we would be able to make a trip to Utah so my grandfather, a temple sealer would be able to perform the ceremony. I also thought being in Utah would make it possible for many members of my extended family to attend (not to mention meet my husband of nearly 6 years) and share in our special day. However, due to scheduling issues and finances, such a trip was unrealistic.
Another issue, was that I looked different than I imagined I would...I was 7 months pregnant, after all. And as excited as I was to have our baby girl join our family, I did wish I could remove me baby bump and have my waist back just for the day (I told you this was superficial). White dress and tiny waist seem synonymous, right? However, with that not being an option, for obvious reasons, my mother offered to buy me a wedding/sealing dress that would be compliment my "delicate condition." It took me weeks to decide on the "perfect" dress, and I was so excited when I placed the order. But attempting to order a custom dress over the phone while trying to use current measurements to predicted my measurements 3 months later proved to be less than successful. And my excitement at the dress' arrival, quickly turned to uncontrollable tears. My beautiful dress was unwearable without a breast reduction for my top half and maybe a pregnancy of quadruplets on the bottom (think white circus tent).
It did not get better from there. I had pictured gorgeous soft curls pulled away from my face. I could even see a white flower or two pinned into my golden tresses. That dream began to die with a hair cut that left me with awkward bangs, and highlights that had to be "corrected" twice. And then it was officially pronounced dead when my "primping" time was used getting two little boys fed, dressed, and in the car on time for the hour and 20 minute drive to the temple. I was lucky I had time to put on some mascara.
During the time I was still living in my fairytale, I had planned on flying out one of my close friends who is an incredible photographer to document the day. I could almost see the pictures full of [obviously staged] candid poses that I would want wall paper my house with. Perfect shots of Arthur and me looking deeply into each other's eyes looking madly in love (if you aren't laughing yet, you haven't met us). Sweet pictures of us with our boys, all of us looking happy and peaceful, as we glowed in the sacredness of the day. Well, obviously, I was delusional and not just dreaming on this one, even if I had been able to get Fiona to Tennessee. So I traded Fiona and my magazine spread ideal, for a freezing windy day, a camera no one knew how to use but me, and boys who had little interest in standing still one more second.
I know I sound like I am complaining. And at the time, I probably was. Between being a crazy hormonal mess and the natural let down at the end of a big event, I honestly couldn't even look through the pictures. All I could see where the blaring differences from what I had "wanted" and I actually got.
But I think the Lord used all of it to teach me a valuable lesson. I did get exactly what I want. Our family is sealed together, forever, for all time and all eternity. My amazing husband and these incredible little people, that we have been blessed to learn and grow with, can be mine...always. No matter the endings and goodbyes we may have to face in this life, our life as a family will continue.
Through the sealing power of the priesthood, our opportunity to make and keep sacred covenants with our Father in Heaven, and ultimately because of the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, families can be forever. Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation provides more than a way for our individual salvation, it is often called the "Plan of Happiness" because it is a way for us to return to Him as families. There is nothing that shows His love for the children of man in a deeper way.
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So as I sit here and reflect a full year later, I know that the dress, the hair, the photos, not even the temple sealer could have made the day more special. The way that day was wrapped, had no impact on the beauty of the gift we received.
We were blessed to have shared the day with my parents, my sister, my almost sister Laura, and some very dear friends.
