Pushing Pause

"You're holding James aren't you?" my mother asks me as soon as I answer the phone.  I guess there is something in my voice ("gushing with love" are the words I think she used) that gives it away when I take this sweet baby in my arms.

It is true, James is like a little sunshine.  The room feels brighter and warmer when he is in it.  I can't get enough of his big open mouth smiles, and the way his eyes light up when he gets excited.  I love how he looks when he first wakes up, his baby hair sticking up on one side and his eyes still puffy with sleep, as he sits in the center of (our) bed waiting for someone to come pick him up.  And how he reaches for his Daddy when Arthur gets home from work and smothers his face into Arthur's uniform for a few seconds before resting his head on his chest.  You can almost hear him say, "Daddy, I missed you!"

I can hardly believe my Littlest Bubba has been here for more than Nine months.  I'm not sure if the time is flying or if babies just change so much in such a short amount of time...but since they haven't invented the Mommy Pause button yet, I will do the next best thing...blog it!


James is our dare devil.  I feel like he views the world (and our living room) as a series of challenges that need to be conquered.  I don't know how many times he has bumped his head trying to climb up (over, on or through) something.  You know you know he is up to something when you hear his chubby little hands smack the tile as he quickly makes a crawl for it.


Speaking of crawling...he does that with his own little style.  Arthur jokes that he crawls like a skate boarder.  He crawls on his left knee as he pushes with his right foot.  It is very entertaining to watch, but it is obviously efficient because he is fast.

When the bathroom door is closed and and he has enough of climbing up and over the kitchen chairs, you are likely to find him playing in Jake's room.  I love walking in there and watching him standing at the train table or running cars over the car mat.  He still looks like such a baby, but he is starting to play just like a big boy.  It is the most adorable site.  While he likes playing in there with Jake, I think he enjoys himself even more when he has free reign (and really, who can blame him?).

While his skater crawl has helped to reduce his frustration in his inability to walk, it certainly hasn't weakened his resolve.  If James can find willing hands, it is on.  He will grab on and happily march around the house until either his assistants back begins to hurts from leaning over for too long or something on the ground catches his attention.  He is also constantly working on his balance.  The other night he spent over an hour pulling himself up on things (or people), stabilizing, and letting go.  Each time he fell, he'd just do it again.  My favorite is when he gets so excited that he raises his hands over his head and beams or gives himself a big round of applause.  Where proud of you too, Baby Boy!

James said a new word this week.  Jake and Arthur were standing in the street talking to a neighbor and petting her black lab.  I came out with James to grab something from the car.  "Daw! Daw!"  He yelled.  I would have been oblivious of it being anything more than his usually baby babble, if he hadn't been lunging out of my arms.  After a second I realized what had caught his eye...the "Daw!"  Of course!  So we walked down the driveway.  I, of course, start gushing about his new word, and James of course was silent.  Luckily, after a few minutes (just about the time I'm sure everyone else was thinking I was full of it), James said it again.  Arthur was impressed, but the neighbor was in shock.  "How old is he?!?" Yep that's our boy.  And okay, he did call a horse a dog a few hours later, but at least he is grouping animals together. :-)

Like his older brother, James treats falling asleep like a battle he refuses to lose.  He wiggles and squirms, determined not to let his body relax and desperate not to give into to those heavy lashes.  But eventually he sleeps...like an angel.

I feel blessed every day for my amazing boys.  You wonder how, after the first, you will ever love anyone else so much.  And then the second one comes, and you understand.  A parents heart just gets bigger and more and more love exists.  They are life's greatest gift.  Thank you James for staying...I couldn't imagine our lives without you.

It's time for another edition of Jake quotes....

1)  As Robyn, the little boys, and I pulled into the Lowe's parking lot, our conversation somehow turned to growing up and going away to college.  Obviously, my babies heading off to college is not my favorite of topics so I said, "Don't talk about it.  Even though you drive me crazy sometimes, it makes Mommy sad to think about you going away to college."
"It's okay Mommy, I'll just go to a close college."
I will be sure to remind him of this when the times comes. :-)

2) Sick with a cold and in need of a nap has a way of heightening Jake's dramatics.  Frustrated over something he started to cry.  Aunt Robyn asked, "Are you a baby or a big boy?"  "Big boys cry sometimes too!!"  Jake spat back at her...

3) Jake is still adjusting to sharing the spotlight in this family.  So I shouldn't have been surprised when Jake walked over to the photos on the sofa table and announced, "Before James was born these were all pictures of me."  He wasn't so much mad as he just wanted me to know that he had noticed the change.  The best part is, I have only gotten around to changing out two of the six frames and he is still in one of them. Not to mention that I haven't even touched the wall photos so they still are all pictures of him.

4) But I guess he can't think big brotherhood is too bad because as he chatted away with a young woman (Jake has never met a stranger...especially when that stranger is a pretty girl) about our family he announced, "We're thinking about having a baby girl."  Then he explained that we can have a baby girl and "still keep James."  While I love that he feels he is so included in family decisions, I would like to add that, at this time, we are not thinking about having another baby...girl or otherwise.

4) Jake is spoiled, he'll even tell you that, especially when it comes to his extended family.  Being the first grandchild and great grandchild...well, he has a lot of grownups in his life that like to make all three year old desires come true.  So I am wondering how Apa will fulfill Jake's heartfelt request on Skype the other day.  "I want a 3T violin."  I think that was his way of saying he wanted a violin just his size.

5) Jake has actually wanted a violin for months.  After receiving a beautiful engraved harmonica from his Nana he told us, "If I were bigger, I wish this was a violin."  So hopefully, his growing appreciation for classical music will continue (Tchaikovsky is his favorite) and he will be our little musician.

6) Our next door neighbor, April, is the best!  She is the one who will always let me steal an egg (or butter...or vanilla...or anything else I am out of).  We love having her over and I try to pay her back with dinners as often as possible.  While we all adore her, Jake would probably tell you that April is his friend.  Nearly every time she comes over she spends at least an hour on the floor playing whatever Jake wants.  She'll even let Jake sequester her in his bedroom as they hunt for deer with his Apache action figure.  Recently Jake has caught on that April is married to someone he refers to as her "big boy."  However, between being stationed at another post and a year deployment, he is usually away.  So when April stopped by the other night, it warmed my heart to hear Jake ask with concern in his voice, "Did you come over because you're lonely?"

7) Jake's new found empathy and compassion surfaced again this weekend.  We were at a b-day BBQ for a friend, and the night was winding down.  Most of the children had already headed home. Then I heard Jake's voice sweetly asking, "Do you feel better now?"  He was speaking so softly that I could not hear much of what he was saying, but between his tone and the lack of response I just assumed he was taking to a stuffed animal or something.  Then he stuck his head into the room I was in and announced, "I'm just making a little girl feel better."  When she popped her head in, I asked Jake if he had asked her here name.  Very politely he asked the girl her name, but each time she said it, he could not quite understand her.  After several attempts he tired to make it out, "Grandma?!?" he asked.  I could here the great confusion in his voice, but I could also tell how hard he was trying to understand her.  "No!" she said back obviously frustrated.  As she said it again, I strained to listen so I could help out.  It turned out her name was Clara...Good try Buddy.

Our Adventures in Home School

Have you ever sat down to write a blog post and after 15 minutes of writing you think, "This isn't what I was going for..."  Well, that is how this one is going for me.  So I think I will forget it and let the pictures do the talking on this one.  Hope you enjoy the first addition of "Our Adventures in Home School"

Every day looks different here...we kind of just let the day unfold.  I love how many natural learning opportunities come up when I back off (I'm learning) and let them happen.

Baking has been one of Jake and my favorite activities for a long time...chocolate chip cookies is like its own subject at our house.  He can do so many of the jobs by himself now...I think he cracks an egg better than I do.

I love how many things can be taught in the kitchen, but my favorite part is watching his confidence grow as he masters something new (added bonus: his hands are busy)

Jake loves bugs!  And he is one awesome bug catcher!  He loves to put them in his bug box and can observe them for hours.  We enjoy researching them together so we can learn all about their diet and life cycle.

Can you believe I caught this venomous hobo spider!?  Yep,  the boys are the the only ones learning...Mommy is learning lots too!  I am doing my best to be more patient and creative while being less type A (I certainly don't want to be the teacher that makes them hate learning).

Music is must!  We've been listening to classical music lately and we talk a lot about the composers who wrote the "beautiful pieces" as well as the musicians who play their music today.  

We love arts and crafts!

 James first art project!

Totally worth it, but can you see why my children are never in clothes?

 

So much fun...but SOOOO messy!

 

 

He had such a great time painting that I made him edible finger paints to play with (and eat) while I fixed dinner.

Jake created, wrote, and solved the last problem all by himself!

So here it is...our version of home school.  To the untrained eye, it may look like a lot of playing and moving from one mess to another.  But I know that we are learning...about life, ourselves, and each other.  And I love that we are doing to together.

Upside Down and Inside Out

So you knows those moms, the cute crafty ones (check out http://notesshewrote.blogspot.com/), the ones who's kids always coordinate while they look like something out a magazine?  Yep, the ones who somehow seem to fit 1000 things into one day, including their 10 mile morning run?  Okay, let's be clear...I am not one of them.  As hard as I try and even when I do my best to fake it...nope, I am still not that mom.
I'll prove my point.  On a whim I decided to add a swipe of lip gloss to my normal hair brush (on a good day) and mascara routine.  Taking one look at me, Jake's eye brows knit together with great concern and he asked, "Why did you put that stuff on?"  He continued by stating, "Now you don't look like Momma anymore."  Holy Smokes!  A tiny bit of color on my lips and I don't look like his Mom anymore?!?  Wow, I must have really let myself go.
I'm sure the girl I was at 19 would be horrified if she saw me right now?  "What's going on with that lady's hair...doesn't she own a brush!? "Yes," I would explain to younger me, "I do own a brush...but retrieving from my bathroom could potentially disturb my sleeping 8 month old.  In addition, I have no guarantee that the hair brush, once out of the drawer, would not catch the attention of my jealous three year old who would then wield it as a weapon against his younger brother.  So, as you will soon see, Younger Me, sometimes brushing your hair really isn't worth it."
But while younger me may be displeased if she could witness her future lack of style or how rarely a workout fits into her schedule (not to mention how she herself now fits into a pair of skinny jeans), I know that she would definitely approve the two little boys I get to spend each day with.

When it comes to raising these boys, I should mention that Arthur and I probably do the opposite of mainstream 90% of time.  We've never used the cry it out method, my babies nurse on demand, and we rarely take parenting advice from a pediatrician (unless it is a real medical issue of course) But, so far it seems to be working.  Both boys are bright, happy, and thriving.

Honestly, I am getting use to people looking at me like I'm a crazy person when I talk about our parenting philosophy.  But in my defense, I only get into it after people ask why my boys are...the way they are.  When we first had Jake we really did what we felt right for him...for us as a family.  It was really that simple, and now as we move into a new phase of Jake's development we are working from that same place.  And homeschool...a Montessori homeschool of sorts is where we have ended up.  We love the idea of our lives always revolving around our family rather than our family trying to revolve around life.

So here I am upside down and inside out in motherhood while Arthur works hard to provide for our family so I can be home with our boys.  Each day brings out the best and the worst of me...often within minutes of each other but hopefully not in equal proportions.  But imperfect as I am, I do my best and my desire to learn with them and about them is as great as my desire to teach them.  If it is something that you have considered (even for a second) but maybe you doubt in your own ability to do it,  read http://mommylife.net/archives/2011/05/why_homeschool_7.html. 
To be clear, I do not think I have found some secret answer to Mommyhood nor do I think I am God's gift to teaching.  There are many mornings when I want to turn on the TV and let Nick Jr take over or afternoons I wish I could sentence Jake to his room for the rest of the day (usually for picking on James).  But at the end of the day, who else cares about them like I do?  Who else is invested in the outcome like I am?  So why would I entrust such an important job to someone else?  And truthfully, I can't imagine missing it.

So get ready to read all about our adventures in homeschooling.  It won't be pretty, and I can almost promise my hair will be a mess and my children will be in varying stages of undressed.  I've given up makeup for finger paints and baking is now more about the process than the outcome (but you should see Jake crack an egg).  But between the painting, puzzles, spider catching, time outs and hours of us all hanging out on the family room floor together, I see it working.  They are exploring, creating, discovering...both about themselves and the world around them.  So I hope I'm right....I hope they are learning, but more important I hope they sense how much they are loved.

My "All American" Tradition

I'm not sure how it happened, but somehow the 4th of July just feels like a great excuse for a photo shoot.  I started it with Jake when he was a year old while we were on vacation in Tahoe.  Okay, what I really did was follow behind him with my camera like an obsessed paparazzi...but none the less the 4th of July tradition was born.  And now, 2 years later, I have two boys to harass.

But really how cute is this location?  So all American, right?  And all the credit for the cute outfits goes to Aunt Robyn.

Daddy gets the credit for helping me pose...and repose these crazy boys

Father's Day Fun

In the previous update I made reference to a trip we recently made to a local zoo. I would now like to take the time to clarify my very loose use of the word "zoo."  In reality we were not at a zoo.  Instead we went to a place in Nowhere, Alabama where an Australian man and his dozens of wild and exotic animals reside.  Had to be an Aussie right?  Yep, that's right, we spent the morning touring the property of a very nice (and obviously slightly insane) Australian man with a rockin' spiked mullet and a passionate love for wild animals...only in Alabama!

I am convinced that the man selected Alabama because it is the only state in the union that would permit someone to have such a set up (although, I'm sure the bison would have selected almost anywhere else if given the choice).  Lions, tigers...even a Liger..or two.

Yep, a real live Liger

Bears, snakes, moneys, and several wandering goats.  It is quite the place. He charges a small entrance fee (all the money going to feeding and caring for the animals...which are all in amazing health) and he leads tours to introduce all his "friends."  And most of the time all that is separating you (and your children) from these wild creatures are tall chain link fences.

Good thing the animals are so well fed.  But in all honesty a man like this has to know how he is going to go...right?

Either way it made for a fun start to our father's day weekend.  But by noon we were all melting, so we had to call is quits before we got to the feeding of the bears.  But for those of you who are contemplating a trip out here, I promise to take you to our "Alabama Zoo." 

Of course, no holiday weekend, for our family, would be complete without a trip the beautiful beach.  So Father's day was spent under the sun (or shade tent for some of us),

 playing in the sand,

 and jumping through the waves.

Having his cousin Jacob there made our Jake much more adventurous in the water

(Finally brought the good camera to the beach)

But it did not make him any happier about water in his eyes

 

This trip was extra special because we went with Arthur's cousin and his cute family.  Jacob and Jacob would have stayed all day...but our tummy's started rumbling...so we all headed back to our place for a little Father's Day BBQ.  I felt a little guilty for letting Arthur cook on his day...but he insisted.

I know it is a few weeks late, but Happy Father's Day Honey!  The boys and I are so blessed to have you!  I love you more than words!  Til Forever!!

Little Boy Update

So I never did get caught up...I still have pics and stories from our California trip (yep the trip we took almost 2 months ago).  So before I fall too far behind on milestones and funny quotes...here's what my little boys have been up to.

1) James just got his second tooth this week...both bottom front teeth are now in!  As tough as he is most of the time, he has to be to live with Jake, he was pretty whiney about these little razor blades making their debut.  Luckily for him, we like excuses to spoil around here.

 2) Jake is still obsessed with being Mexican.  But finally, Arthur got tired of him using, "I don't (fill in the blank), I'm Mexican!" as an excuse for everything.  "Dude, you are only a fourth Mexican!" he explained. Jake responded in horror, "Why would you say that!?!"  Jake has now resigned himself to the fact that he is only "a fourth," but that does not prevent him from frequently "speaking" in a made up language that sounds strangely similar to Spanish...that is when he is not growling like a lion.

3) James crawls now, but hates nearly every second of it.  All he wants to do is get up and walk around like the rest of us.  That eager anxious boy I felt while I was pregnant with him is back.  It is common to walk into a room with James, in the downward dog position, yelling at his feet.

 4) Arthur finally selected his aircraft and is now a Blackhawk pilot!  We are super excited...everyone except Jacob.  He really had his heart set on Daddy flying the Chinook (there wasn't even one available).  He dealt with his disappointment well, however, and has just decided that he will fly one himself when he grows up.  I am a little confused how he will fit that in with medical school and all the "lawning and edging" of my grass he insists he will be doing.  But that is the best part about being a child...the future is just one big YES.

5) James is happiest on his feet.  Quickest way to put a smile on his face is to prop him up again a piece of furniture or hold his hands so he can walk around...and around...and around.  The funniest part is watching him "test" himself as lets go and attempts to balance.  I am sure we are just weeks...if not days away from him flinging himself from one piece of furniture to the next...just like another little boy I use to know.

 6) Jake is getting really good and number recognition and simple addition and subtraction (he even knows what the +, -, and = symbols mean).  And yes, I may include marshmallows or goldfish in our math time as incentive.  Let's just say that Jake likes subtraction the best.

7) James started saying Mama a few weeks ago (right before he hit the 7 month mark), and has recently expanded his vocabulary to include Dada and Bubba (what we call both him and his big brother).  Yeah I wouldn't believe it either if he didn't use them all in context and I'd still probably think it was just coincidence if I hadn't already had one baby who spoke in complete sentences by 18 months.  I couldn't help but giggle when Arthur, impressed by the progress of our premature son, asked, "Do you think that people underestimate the power of breastfeeding?"  In one word...ABSOLUTELY!

 8) It appears that Jake has more of an adventurous spirit than I had originally given him credit for. Aside from his love of bugs, spiders, and all things creepy and crawly (he has made me scream more than once by showing me something caught in his hand), the man at the zoo has now cautioned Arthur to "watch out for this one" when he saw the glimmer in Jake's eye as the 30lb python rapped itself around him.   Jake also loves fire.  Getting to light the match for the BBQ (by himself) will get him to clean up toys faster than anything I've ever tried (I still won't light a match if I can help it).  TROUBLE...Mommy is in huge trouble...
So that is a little glimpse into our lives this summer.

I am so blessed to have them and there is now where I would rather be at 6am than sandwiched between their little bodies as we sleep...well, most mornings at least.  :-)

PS You wouldn't get your kids dressed either if it was 100 degrees and 95% humidity :-)