Sunday, October 17, 2010

Two and Half: A time for a little more wit and a million more "why's"

Every night I put Jake to bed (in his bed), and every morning he wakes up (in my bed) and the growth and changes that have occurred since the day before are too small to notice.  It isn't until I stand him in front of his growth chart or try to dress him in clothes that have suddenly become too small before I realize how much taller he has become.  Over the last few weeks I have felt the same way about the recent acceleration in his emotional and mental development.  Although, it isn't a growth chart that has forced me to take notice.  Instead it is his questions, comments, and all too often witty come backs that have caught my attention.

My big boy playing at the park with his best buddy Benjamin
Some may think that two and half is just another date on a mommy's calender, but in our house it was when I began to pick up on this "change" in my son.  There is no tricking or out smarting this little guy anymore because he is already two steps ahead of us, and often more like three or four.  For example, I must take great care in how I ask Jake a question.  I must not leave it too open ended.  This is not because he does not know the answer, but because he will give me the answer that will create the outcome that he had decided serves his best interest, or should I say, desires.  At two and a half you can't really refer to this as lying, but simply a sign of complex reasoning.  He has decided what he wants and he has played it out well enough in his mind to figure out a strategy to get there.  While this generally leads to a little chat about honesty, I am usually too impressed to be upset.


This question coin, like all coins, does in fact have two sides.  I am not the only one asking questions in this house.  It seems that a heavy storm of "w" words has blown into Jacob's brain and it shows no signs of stopping.  "Why?" is the most common and there never seems to be just one.  Gone are the days when a one or two word answer would satisfy or when we could grab a book and read it cover to cover.  Now we must analyze every line, picture, fact, and/or character within.  However, it does pay off when I hear Jake say things like, "The leaves are changing colors because it is autumn.  Do you see that beautiful tree Mommy?"  Or when he tells a friend that "people are omnivores" and can accurately explain why. 

While it can feel like he is playing some never ending game as I answer his steady stream of questions, I remind myself that his intention is not to annoy but to understand.  When I slow down and really listen, I realize how deep and insightful his questions usually are.  And isn't it my job to teach and explain?  I must remember there is a bigger lesson to these conversations.  Jake is not just learning answers to questions, but more importantly he is learning that he can come to me with any question and that he can trust in the answers that I give him.  When I look at it this way, the questions don't seem so silly and I want to give him the the best answer I can.

The funniest part to this two and a half business is how Jake can come up with comments and one liners that leave us all speechless (and usually trying hard not to laugh).  Since this happens on a daily basis, I will just give a few recent examples that come to mind.  The other night Jake was playing in the back yard.  He had exceeded his 30 second independent play threshold and now wanted someone to play with him.  Arthur had just arrived home from work and was hoping for a few minutes to unwind so when Jake announced, "Daddy you need to come outside," Arthur tried to throw him off by playfully saying, "You need to go outside."  Without missing a beat Jake stated, "I am already outside, now you need to come outside." Hard to argue with that.  Or there was yesterday when Jake walked up to Robyn and asked, "Did you brush your hair today?"  Robyn, who was lying on the couch feeling under the weather said, "No, Jacob I didn't."  "You need to brush your hair," Jake told her.  And when she asked why he explained, "So you can look beautiful." 

Jake is in love with high school football, but he can't decide if he want to play football or be in marching band and play "the really big tuba."
While I am not in love with every thing this period of his development has to offer, like the instant melt down if Jake is not the one to answer the door or the ridiculous power struggles he and I often get into just trying to get ready for the day, I love everything about him.  How can I not?  Both the adorable and the frustrating, the sweet and the naughty, together it is what makes up this special little boy who we are lucky enough to call ours.

1 comment:

Jessa said...

I wish he and RJ could hang out! He sounds like he is getting so big, Jill, I am just so happy for you and your family! Take care and I hope baby James can come home soon!!!