I Didn't Quit on Christmas Cards

So, once again the Orrs did not send out a Christmas card.  While I have heard arguments that the whole tradition is rendered obsolete with the use of social media, that is not my excuse.  I actually look forward to checking the mail throughout December.  Seeing the beautiful faces of family and friends and reading their warm holiday greetings isn't lessened for me because I've seen pictures of their children on Facebook.  Instead it makes me feel remembered and definitely spreads a little Christmas cheer.

So, why, if I love receiving them so much, have I neglected to send out my own?  To put it simply, time...I just keep running out of time.  Last year, I was preparing to welcome our baby girl into the family, and this year I...I, guess I was just busy being a stay at home/home school mom of my three littles and the days just got away from me.  I did however, take some Christmas pictures of my crazy kids.  It was Scarlett's first Christmas after all, but that is as far as I got.  So here they are...

So for those of your who keep sending me Christmas cards, thank you!  I did not quit on Christmas cards, I will try again next year. :-)

Buttercream With My Babies

Isn't it amazing how much things can change in one year?!  A year ago we were still awaiting the arrival of our sweet girl.  This year, Scarlett is at the table ready to help eat all the cookie dough  decorate the cookies.  Jake is loosing teeth as fast as Scarlett can grow them, and Jamie has fully embraced life as one of the big brothers.
What hasn't changed is my love of buttercream frosting, and it appears that all three of my babies have inherited it too.  So here is to a day of sugar cookies, buttercream, food coloring and messes mixed with love, laughter, and lots of pictures!

Talent Telling

The boys and I have spent our mornings, this past year, studying the New Testament.  Each week we focus on one story or parable.  There is one morning that has really stuck with me.  It was a crisp fall morning and we were sitting around the table after breakfast (more than likely one with a little too much syrup) talking about the parable of the talents.  Jacob began to share with us things he had learned about that parable in his primary class, just a few weeks before.  

He explained to James and me that while the talents in the story were a kind of money, they were like the gifts and talents that Heavenly Father has blessed each one of his children with here on this earth.  He continued by telling us that he had learned how important it was for each of us to use our talents and that the consequence of not using them could be loosing them completely.

As he spoke, an LDS General Conference talk, I read several months before, came to my mind.  The speaker suggested that one way we could identify our talents was to talk to our parents about the strengths they see in us.  I felt impressed that this would be a perfect opportunity to help my boys start to see some of the unique gifts they have been blessed with.  


Since that lesson, I have been mentally writing this blog.  So once again, my beautiful babies, I write to you so that you will always know how you look from my eyes.

Jacob: You are a natural leader.  On that morning, the talent I focused was the way you are able to share your knowledge and enthusiasm with others, often people you are meeting for the first time.  As I shared this with you, your eyes lit up and you said, "This will help me be a great missionary!"  I think you are exactly right!  You possess confidence and poise far beyond your young years.  I am always amazed at how effortless it is for you to stand in front of a crowd to play your violin or bare a heartfelt testimony.  You are a special boy, sent here with a special mission.  I will never forget the clear answer to my prayers, earlier this year, when the Spirit confirmed what I have always known.  "I have made him this way for a purpose!"  

James:  You are still the color yellow.  That warm light you radiate has only increased as you have grown.  Like your older brother, you have been blessed with an incredible mind.  You have an ability to learn and comprehend things both academically and spiritually that not only amazes me, but often catches me off guard.  I love when I think you don't understand something (or are not paying attention) and then out of nowhere you will spout off the answer in that nonchalant way of yours.  However, it is your compassion and kind hearted nature that I mentioned during our lesson that morning.  At three years old you are already considerate of others feelings, often putting their needs and wants before your own.  I will never forget a walk we took this summer where you choose to forfeit your race home with Jake and instead turned your bike around so I wouldn't have to walk alone.  You share this gift each day and by doing so bless our home with peace and love.  

Scarlett:  You are our princess!  There is so much personality bubbling out of your tiny little body.  You are the perfect combination of so many contradictions.  You are a fearless mama's girl who is as sweet as she is stubborn.  You truly have a smile that "can light up any room" and a giggle that makes us all laugh, but you also have no trouble demanding what you want or expressing your frustration when you don't get it.  When you hear music you can't help but dance and when someone sings you can't help join in (perfectly on pitch).  In so many ways I see myself, but in so many others you are all your own.  I adore you, and know that you will bless others with your talents and gifts as you grow the same way you have already blessed us. 

What I thought I wanted

I took these pictures back in October with the optimistic notion that I would “get ahead of things.”  As any mother knows, this is not only impossible, but it is down right laughable.  

At the time I remember being so frustrated.  I just couldn’t get the pictures on my camera to match the ones I had imagined in my head.  Grumpy and defeated, I packed up my beautiful but hungry and very done with picture taking children and headed to the taco truck for dinner.  “What a waste of time,” I thought.

As I slowly made my way through editing (slowly=the next two months), however, I saw something I had completely overlooked at the time.  These pictures (while obviously posed and staged) perfectly represent this moment in my children’s childhood and the sweet (and sometimes sour) relationships they share.

Jake reading stories to Scarlett and James, James and Jacob constantly side by side, Scarlett looking up to them with so much love and wonder, and them loving her right back...sometimes with slightly more enthusiasm than she would like.  

This really is them.  This really is my life.  Isn’t it beautiful?!  

Words will never describe how blessed I feel.  

I tried so hard to stage these pictures perfectly, forgetting that the perfection was already there.  Looking at these beautiful faces on this beautiful evening, I can’t even remember what it was I thought I wanted.  

I think that is a lesson I am constantly learning.  I decide how I want things to be and then I feel let down and disappointed when reality doesn’t comply.  And then I realize, just like i did with the pictures, that while things may be different that what I thought I wanted, there is always a reason.  I am so grateful we have a Father in Heaven who knows us and loves us.  He doesn’t always give us what we want when we think we want it, but he will always bless us with what we need when we turn our lives over and trust in Him.

Jake, James, and Scarlett, I know that one of the greatest callings I have or ever will receive in this life is to be your mom.  Getting to stay home with you each day and helping you learn and grow is privilege and challenge that gives my life meaning and purpose.  There is no where else I would want to be than with you three and your amazing Daddy.  I know you hear it every day, but I love you...more than you can comprehend.  Thank you for helping me live a life of such beauty that I could never fully capture in a picture.

Happy Birthday, Jamie Do!

The night before my baby turned four, I couldn't resist picking up my camera.  James' last night as a three year old, and with no "freeze time" button to be found, my camera was like a dear friend reassuring me, "It is okay, I will help you remember this.  I will capture this moment so when you whenever you look at it, no matter how much has changed or how big he gets, your mind will remember and your heart will be able to recall it all."

I love this boy!  I love the way his eyes smile!  I love the way that his smile can brighten any moment and his tight hugs can squeeze away a bad mood.  He presence exudes warmth, and I already see people (often adults) wanting to just sit and talk with him...and they are always smiling.  There is just something about him...

Our Jamie Do is naturally silly and goofy, but over this past year I have also seen his intellect blossom.  He is incredibly smart, but rarely wants to show off.  However, engage him in conversation and you will find a deep and practical thinker.  He is deeply empathetic and is a great problem solver both academically and socially.  There are countless times during "school" where I think he isn't understanding something because he isn't responding, and then just when I think "oh, maybe he isn't quite ready for this" he picks up his pencil and completes all the problems on the page.  I have also seen him teach what he knows/understands to his peers (sometimes even his big brother).  He has a way of being clear and concise, but never condescending or rude.  One of my favorite James moments, one that perfectly illiterates who is his, came one afternoon while he took something unsafe away from Scarlett,  "No, no, no, Scarlett, you can't have that," he explained in his sweetest high pitched love voice, but just to make sure she didn't feel bad he ended with, "but you still are pretty!"  That's my boy!
He is my sunshine.  And while watching him grow will always be bitter sweet, I love being a part of it.

James, I don't just love you, I like you, and if you weren't mine I would sure want to be your friend!

And I'm not the only one.  Your 4 year old party was full of some of the people who couldn't resist celebrating your special day with you.  These people didn't just spend Saturday afternoon with you at the bowling alley, they even came back to our house that night to watch you blow out you candles and make a wish.

Happy Birthday Jamie Do!  We love you!!