The wonderful...exciting...terrible twos and the lessons they are teaching me about motherhood

I thought the change would be gradual, something so subtle I wouldn't even notice. But no, it hasn't worked that way at all. With less than two months to go before his second birthday, a flip has been switched in Jake. One night he went to bed my baby and the next he woke up a little boy. My least favorite part of this change has been the tantrums. They were only really bad for a few days, but they were a long few days. It seemed like every time things did not go his way, he was throwing himself on the ground and crying inconsolably. It hasn't taken him long to catch on that Mommy will not give in, no matter how much he carries on. However, instead of getting upset with him, I have been trying to use these "episodes" as an opportunity to teach him that Mommy will always be there for hugs and love when he is ready to be comforted. I know that he is ready to move on when I hear his sweet little voice say, "I wanna rub your back," or "let me hold you."

Luckily, his transition into boyhood has been just as exciting as it has been challenging. Jake has found a new sense of independence and confidence. He takes great pride in doing things himself. I smile every time he slips his feet into his shoes all by himself or attempts to put on his clothes by himself regardless of how successful he is. I loved seeing the pride on his face once he finally got his sweat shirt zipped a few weeks ago (after days of him running around with his unzipped sweatshirt slipping off of his shoulders because he wouldn't let me zip it for him). While everything takes a little longer than I would sometimes like, I understand how important these milestones are. I see that he isn't just learning new skills, but it is about learning to learn. He is learning how to endure trial and error, how to problem solve, and to build confidence in his himself. While at times it seems like it would be easier to just do it for him, he reminds me by yelling, "I wanna do it!" So, I am doing my best to step back and let him learn because "helping" him really wouldn’t be helping him at all.

Jake has also started taking new physical risks. My favorite sound in the world is his little giggle. If possible it is even cuter when it is filled with both excitement and nerves after he has just successfully executed some new physical feet. He has even started saying, "I've never done that before!" because he has heard me say it so many times over the last few weeks. The first time he used the phrase I was a little taken aback (as I often am when he uses such complex concepts in the right context). He was playing a small play bridge in the kid area at the airport. He would hold my hand and attempt to walk down the steep arch until gravity would bring him down. He laughed each time he crumbled to his knees and couldn't wait to do it again. “I’ve never done that before!” he told me beaming. While I was nervous that his little game might end in some minor crisis, I did not want to crush this new sense of adventure. Fortunately, we left the area unscathed, but I know that we won’t always be so lucky. But I realize that I need to teach Jake that it is okay to take risks and try new things. So when the skinned knees, stitches, and other injuries come I will be there to patch him up and dry his tears but the most importantly I will teach him to get up, dust himself off, and try again.

I need to never forget that my job as his Jake's mother it to raise him to be an amazing man, not just take care of my darling little boy.