Magic in the Second Time

Don't get me wrong, there are many things about being pregnant for the second time that are harder.  Like what happened to those impromptu naps that I enjoyed so much the first time?  The kind where you wake up and after a bowl of cereal and three trips to the bathroom you decide that you really aren't ready for the day and head back to bed.  Yep, I miss that.  Or when some lower back pain was more than enough of an excuse to lie on the couch all day and watch Lifetime.  Nope that is definitely not happening this time around.  And those seven o'clock bed times...being the mommy of a busy two year old makes all of that a distant memory.  No, Jake does not care about my sciatica or the fact that I am exhausted because I couldn't get comfortable the night before (likely because fell asleep in his bed after reading books).  But the truth is, I really wouldn't want him to.
With all that said, there really is a magic to the second time around.  Of course, my pregnancy with Jake was amazing and wonderful, but this time is different.  I think it is because I know now something I couldn't have even imagined then.  I now know how the earth stops the second they hand you this new little person.  The way you can almost feel your heart growing in your chest in some feeble attempt to contain the infinite and unconditional love you feel for this new life and the incredible person you made him with.  Over the last few months it seems that every time I look at Jacob I relive the moment they placed him in my arms.  As all emotions come flooding back I can't help but get excited to experience it again with our next son.

Pictures from the 4-D ultra sound 11/12

James refused to move his hand away from his face

Seeing these just makes me want him here :-)

It isn't just the memories of Jacob's birth that make this pregnancy so special, but it is also the joy of sharing this pregnancy with him.  Arthur, of course, is just as fun this time and James is getting just as much Daddy attention as Jake did.  I feel so blessed to have a husband who falls just as in love with our babies as I do before they even get here.  But this time there is an extra set of hands feeling for baby kicks and punches and a new little voice saying sweet things to my belly.  I love having conversations with him about what the baby is doing inside my tummy and answering his questions about fetal development and umbilical cords (he asks a lot of questions).  Jake has also been a great companion at my doctor appointments.  Each time they check the baby's heart beat, Jake's eyes light up.  But some of my favorite moments over the last several months are times when Jake and I are snuggling and I can feel Baby James moving between us.  It is at moments like this that the blessing of being the Mommy to these two boys comes into clear focus.  The best is at bed time when Jake is just about to drift off and in a sweet sleepy voice he whispers into the darkness, "I wanna feel the baby," and after placing his hand over his brother he falls asleep...it's magic...beautiful magic.