Silver Linings and Snap Shots

Oh little blog it has been too long.  Honestly, I find myself mentally "writing" blog posts over and over the last few days...while I sweep, fold laundry, pick up the never ending trail of miniature dinosaurs and literally millions of tiny soldiers and race cars...I am mentally writing.  And since both children are both sleeping, at the exact same time, and it is before 11 o'clock, now is my chance. :-)

This is going to be a rambling blog...I have so many thoughts and so many moments I want to record...and never any time.  Okay, that is not entirely true, but sometimes staying up too late watching Hulu is the only thing I can manage at the end of the day.  But with the end of the year rapidly coming to a close, I feel like I better get typing.  Because as difficult as it is to have Arthur deployed, I am still blessed with the crazy beautiful life of raising our boys while he is away.  Within this trial I see all of us growing, changing, and becoming even more focused on what is important...and how can I not want to preserve that?

Since I have started this blog, I have always liked lists...there is something organized and stress free about them.  So I'd like to start with some of the silver linings during our deployment rain cloud.

At "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown" with my babies.  We miss Daddy, but we still have lots of fun!

1) The biggest and most undeniable blessing, is the way our entire family has turned to Christ.  For me it hit before Arthur left.  I was overcome with panic and anxiety about being alone and attempting to raise our boys without him.  That, combined with the fear and uncertainly of sending my husband off to war, was crippling.  I remember thinking over and over, "I cannot raise these babies alone!"  Then my father offered me some simple and inspied advice.  "Just get to sacrament meeting."  Even though a million excuses filled my mind, most of them involving my two busy boys, I also knew they were exactly reason I needed to get there.

Ready for church in California with our Tennessee style :-)

Since the decision, to follow my father's council, my life has taken a change for the better.  And each day, as I strive to a line my life with the will of my Savior and as I work to teach my children truth and light, I am blessed with a peace that I could never have thought possible during this time.  "Jesus loves me!" James told me tonight during family home evening.  Yes, he does.  And I am learning that if we do our best, he really will do the rest.

2) My boys are becoming best friends, and I think having Daddy gone has expedited that process.

They need each other in a way they wouldn't if Arthur was here.  James wants to be just like his big brother and Jake loves to show him everything he knows.

The other night, Jake helped James say family prayer.  I know, where is the video camera for that one?!  It was the sweetest thing ever (especially since James has a prayer voice that is an octave above us normal speaking voice).

I have also started to dress them exactly the same.  And while this fulfils a life long dream for me, it also keeps James happy.  However, he is specific.  If Jake's jacket is zipped, James' jacket must be zipped, and if Jake has his hood on, James will not be content until his is too.

If Jake wanted to, he could just drive us all crazy by taking his shoes on and off all day.  But usually he uses his big brother power for good...usually.  They still have their moments....lots of them...daily.  But even in those they are learning, I think.

3) When someone is gone, you miss them...

Quaint, I know.  But really, I know how amazing Arthur is.  I know that I am a better me when he is around.  I always say, "he keeps my feet on the ground."  But when someone is with you all the time, you can't help but take for granted the million little things.  Now that I don't have them, have him, they are so obvious.  I miss talking to him while I make dinner (and I miss having someone who will actually eat more than 3 bites of the dinner I make), I miss that new light bulbs go in before I have even realized the old one burned out, I miss his talent for for thought and planning, and I miss listening to him teach the boys to throw a football and the way the game always ends in a heap of "wrassling," tickling, and lots of laughing.  So while I look forward to the end of this deployment, when I get my husband back and boys have their Daddy, I also try to be grateful for a chance realize how lucky I am to have him.  I love you, Honey.  I am proud to be your wife and I am grateful to have you as my best friend and partner on this crazy ride called life.