The Transition to Two

I think I am starting to get a hang of this mommy of two thing (for those of you who have more...my hat goes off to you, I don't know how you do it) and better yet I am really starting to enjoy it.  Over the last couple of weeks, I feel like I am finally beginning to find my new balance, a new rhythm.  It has not been easy to find my new "normal," the place where I feel like I am meeting my family's needs.... and if at all possible most of their wants too. But I think I'm finally getting there.
Since James' birth, I have felt a little (okay, more than a little) overwhelmed.  Maybe it was postpartum hormones mixed with some post traumatic stress from James' scary start...or maybe it is just the new baby adjustment period but regardless it has been a more difficult transition than I had expected.  I found that I, all too often, was losing my patience with Jake.  And when I was spending one on one time with one child I would immediately feel like I was neglecting the other.  Cuddling with James I would find myself thinking, "I should be playing with Jake.  He is going to think he's been replaced, or worse that I don't love him anymore!"  Then when while playing with Jake I would think, "I should be holding James more.  When Jake was this age I held him more."  Needless to say I was driving myself (and no doubt, my wonderful husband) crazy.
Every night I found myself stewing over my day, beating myself up for all my "mess ups"...the missed teaching moments, the extra TV time, raising my voice, the loads of undone laundry...you get the point.  Finally, I realized that this technique was not only ineffective but also self destructive.  So I started praying, really praying, and asking for more patience and a greater ability to show my children just how loved they truly are.  Because more than anything I always want my children to know how special they are and how much I love them.
This past Thursday, I had a great day with my little boys.  We had a picnic at the park, a doctor appointment with both boys, a trip to TCBY on the way home, and I even had dinner ready for Arthur when he got home (okay, so I just reheated leftovers). 

Another mother at the park asked if I had my camera with me and if I would like a picture taken with my boys.  It turns outs she was a little crazy and talked my ear off for 25 minutes, but I am grateful for the photo.

Why am I not surprised?  He told me later that despite his suggestions to build a volcano, the girls still built a sand castle...he doesn't seem to mind.

James after his trip to the optimologist...he was such a good boy.

Jake enjoying his first ice cream cone

I thought it was going to be a huge mess, but he did a great job

and thought the cone was pretty yummy

There was nothing extraordinary about this day and it is no way meant to impress...it just the day that represents me finally feeling like "I've got this" (most of the time at least).
I hope (and pray) that when my children reflect back on their childhoods, their memories will be filled with me as the warm, patient, loving mom I strive to be rather than that frazzled, grumpy, stressed mom I was feeling like.

"Loves"

"I made you loves!" Jacob excitedly told his Aunt Robyn after he had completed his Valentine to her.

It was so sweet the way he came up with specific messages for me to write to each recipient, and then patiently tried to trace over my pencilled letters with a red marker. 

Then he carefully placed stickers, glued paper hearts, and painted with red, white, pink, and glitter to decorate each one.  After spending several hours over two evenings, there is no doubt that he really was making the cards with all his love.

 

Now if Mommy could just get these "Valentimes" in the mail it would be even better.  The other day Jake spotted them still on the counter and said, "We need to sent those to all the people we love!"  He's right, but after sending out our Christmas cards in February, no one could be too surprised to see V-day cards from us in March.

Family Day, Take Two

Jake's dreams came true...we got another Family Day!  After being on hold for several months, Arthur was put into a class that had yet to have one...so we got two! And the best part is that both are boys got to be there this time (even if James did sleep through the afternoon).

When given an excuse to coordinate, let's face it, I can't help myself.

And the icing on the cake for Jake is that his best friend's dad is in the same class!  

Daddies in helicopters, delicious lunch, too many deserts, and eachother...these boys couldn't have asked for more.

Only when you're 2

Sorry to inundated my blog with posts about potty training.  But for those of you who have done it, or are trying to do it, you know how the process can consume your life.  And what can I say, this is my life.
This is a conversation I just had with Jacob, and while it is similar to ones I have had with him nearly every day for the last few weeks, this one was particularly entertaining to me.
"I did it!  I did it!"  Jake yells excitedly as he runs from the bathroom.  "I went poopy in the toilet!"
"Good job, Honey!" I encourage him.
"Come look!"
I put down the laundry I'm folding and follow behind him as he runs back to the toilet.  As I enter the bathroom he extends one arm to present his success.  "Ta-Da!" he says proudly.
"Wow, that's a lot of poopy!" (Seriously, how else do you complement poop?)
"Thanks!" he chirps happily.
I look down at his face glowing with pride and take in how cute his skinny little body looks in his slightly too large and sagging "big boy chonies." I can't help but laugh and think that there is such a small window of one's life when a conversation like this can take place and even though it is kind of gross I'm glad I get to share it with him.

Daddy's Boys

Arthur officially started class again this week.  After almost 3 months of being on hold, I know that it is time, but I can't help but be a little sad.  This time off felt like someone had stopped the clock for a little while.  And now that the clock has restarted, it is counting down to an inevitable deployment.  While it is still months, maybe even years away, the restart of class makes it all much closer, and more real.
I know I shouldn't complain.  This is what he signed up to do...a sacrifice our family agreed to make.  I just hope that when the time comes, we will be blessed with the strength and courage that I've seen in so many other military families (especially our favorite Bissel family).  So instead of letting the dread consume me, I do my best to be grateful for all the family time we have right now.  So here are a few moments I have captured with Arthur and his boys.
Jake and Arthur are best friends.  It is a rare evening that a wrestling match, "tackle football game (with touch down passes included), or soccer game hasn't taken over the living room.  And for those more "quiet" moments, blankets are strewn in front of the couch to makes hills and valleys for a riveting game of rock crawlers.  I just love hearing them refer to one another as "my best."

This past weekend, Arthur got the baking bug so he and Jake took on chocolate chip cookies together.  This was a change of pace for them, so I wasn't sure how it was going to go.  But of course they did great!  Arthur was so sweet and patient with Jake and Jake was a great little helper.  I just sat in the other room and enjoyed listening to their cute chatter.  Although, I did interrupt for a few seconds in order to get a few pictures.  How could I not?

Hard at work

The pay off

James is following right in his big brother's foot steps...nothing is more exciting to him than Daddy walking into the room.  As soon as he hears Arthur's voice James starts searching for him.  Once he makes eye contact, he starts kicking his legs and waving his arms in excitement.  But it is once he is in his Daddy's arms that the smiles and the cooing starts.  James has it figured out, Mommy is for food and comfort, but Daddy is for FUN!  I should be jealous, but I just love watching their bond strengthen and their love grow.

Cuddles with Daddy

I was too slow to capture the smiles, but still got lots of love!

I know deployments will be hard, especially for our boys.  But I take comfort in knowing that all the special relationships that Arthur has built with our boys will transcend the time and distance until they can be back together again.

Prince of the Potty

I have been thinking about writing this post for several weeks now, but it seemed like every time I'd get ready to sit down and write an accident (or purpose) happen right on cue.  But  now, after four solid days of potty perfection (including nighttimes), I feel like it is finally a documentable milestone...Jake is now Prince of the Potty!

Prince Potty was a gift from Nana

I will be honest that he did not take his throne willingly (pun intended), but he was more than ready...whether he liked it or not.  At first we tired to prompt him with rewards...then we tried taking away treats and his morning show, but it wasn't enough.  And if we tried to make him go...well, that never worked either.
Then one morning I had had enough.  Somewhere between having to change two boys' diapers and too many nights of not enough sleep, I lost my patient hippie "he'll do it when he is ready" attitude.  Instead I decided it was ridiculous for any child who started walking and talking at 9 months old to still be wearing diapers so close to their 3rd birthday.  So I explained to him that we were out of diapers and it was time to use the toilet.  He objected of course, and refused to go to the bathroom all morning.  When he couldn't hold it any longer he decided the office would be a perfect and hilarious place to make his puddle.  Needless to say he wasn't laughing quite as hard after a time out and my threat to make him put back on his wet PJ pants.

Since our little battle of wills, and he realized we weren't backing down, potty training has been pretty easy.  Daddy of course made a huge deal about it, and immediately took Jake to the store to pick out big boy chonies, as we call them.  Not surprisingly, Jake picked out Spider Man and Toy Story ones, and I love when he calls them his "Fruit of A-Loon."

It hasn't been seamless, of course, but now we really don't even have to ask anymore.  He just goes to the bathroom and takes care of business.  Now I just have to teach him that he doesn't get a treat every time he goes number 2 in the toilet. 
Now that it is all said and done, the most unexpected part to me is how being potty trained has caused him to be even more confident, independent, and grown up in other aspects of his life.  He is suddenly okay going to nursery alone, he always wants to dress himself, and has started being able to fall asleep without my lying next to him.  I guess he sees himself as a big boy.  I, on the other hand, am not quite ready for him to be too much of a big boy, but I am great with him being Prince of the Potty.

A Run For My Mommy Money

We weren't even through the first week of February, and I had already been given a run for my Mommy money.  This is pretty impressive considering that I leave our house no more than 2 times a week.  Part of this is because I am still adjusting to two children (I still haven't figured out where getting myself dressed and ready fits into the day) but it also because I have been trying to limit our exposure to the cold and flu season.
Well, apparently two times a week is two times too many because it caught us...a nasty stomach flu caught us.  
Arthur was the first to come down with it, and it hit him hard.  The only word to describe this particular virus is violent...very violent.  With our two little ones to care for, I was little help to him.  I just tried to let him rest and keep the kids away from him.  I noticed that Jake didn't really have an appetite but he was still his normal busy self so I optimistically put him to bed.  However, after just a short hour and a half, I heard him cry out and immediately I knew two things..one, get him over the toilet...NOW...and two, it was going to be a LONG night.
It was my first experience holding the tiny rib cage of a dry heaving 2 (almost 3) year old, but he couldn't have been tougher.  I expected him to be so much more dramatic about the whole thing, I know I would have been at his age.  But instead, he just laid in the "sick bed" that I made him on the couch and watched episodes of Little Einsteins.  Each time he was going to be sick he would make a little whine to warn me as he got up to crouch over his bowl...he didn't miss once  He was such a trouper, he would even glance up at the TV in between heaves.  Five times in less than 3 hours, and then it was over.  I watched him closely for the next little while but when he started asking me for an apple, I knew we were going to be okay.  By this point it was 3:45am and I was exhausted.  Jake, on the other hand, was in the middle of a Caillou episode and didn't want to go to bed.  Since I was too tired to argue, I left him the controls and said, "Okay when your show is over, turn off the TV and come to bed."  Sure, enough 10 minutes later, the TV was off and he was climbing in bed next to me.

Hanging out with my boys during the eye of our sick storm

As our family recovered over the next two days, I couldn't help but think about how grateful I was that I hadn't gotten sick too.  I should have knocked on wood at that moment because that night I woke up with an unmistakable stomach ache.  Arthur was amazing of course.  He called into work and he stayed home to keep Jake entertained while I took my turn in the "sick bed."  And luckily, James was content to just cuddle and sleep on my chest all day (however, I am still paying for messing up his sleep cycle).
Compared to Arthur and Jake, my illness was pretty mild and passed quickly...but not quick enough to beat Jake walking up from his nap crying and yanking at his ear.  Of course, his third ear infection in his whole life had to be at 3 o'clock (when there are no Dr appointments available and urgent care closes at 4) on a day when I can't get off the couch.  But again Arthur sprang into action and with in a few hours he had Jacob seen at urgent care, his prescriptions filled, and had even picked up dinner.  I couldn't have done it better myself, and on this particular day I really couldn't have done it at all without him.  It was one of those days where I was reminded just how lucky I am to have him.
We were also blessed that James stayed healthy through our crazy week.  Thank goodness for nursing!  He just keeps getting bigger and stronger.  I even had to pack up all his newborn clothes this month.  That of course was bitter sweet.  I am so happy he growing into such a big healthy boy, but sometimes I wish it wasn't happening quite so fast.
So now we are all better and just trying to get back into our rhythm.  Okay I'll be honest, I am still trying to find our rhythm.  But I'm sure as soon I think I have found it, something else will come up and give me a run for my Mommy money.

I think this picture just sums it all up...yep, a run for my money