Four Year Old Firsts

It felt as though the second Jake blew out the four candles on that ferocious cheetah cake, his life began to change.

He is transitioning into this new phase of life.  One where he is developing his own interests, talents, and friendships.  I am not exactly sure how to put it into words, but little by little Jake feels less like a part of me and more and more of his own unique and autonomous person.  I know this is a process that will take years, maybe even a couple decades to complete.  But it has started...I can feel the subtle shift.  And while it breaks my heart (into a million tiny pieces) to watch my baby disappear into this "big" boy, I also can't help but be excited for as he starts on his unique journey.

In many ways, I feel like this year has had just as many firsts as his first year did.  However, instead of first words and first steps, he has moved on to first soccer goals and first violin recitals.  So here it is, another list, a list of Jacob's four year old firsts, so far...

1) I have already blogged about the first time he rode his bike without training wheels.  But it stills gets an honorable mention.  I am especially grateful it was a moment Jake could share with his Daddy just weeks before Arthur deployed.

2) Jake gave his first talk in Primary before Arthur left.  He told me he wanted to do a talk about race cars so I was so excited when we found a story in the Friend called "Cool Cars" all about sharing with one's little brother.  It was meant to be.  And then few weeks later he decided it was time bear his testimony in sacrament meeting...and then again in Primary later that same day.  The part that moved me the most is when he clearly and confidently stated, "I believe in the name of Jesus Christ."

3) Jake joined his first soccer team this fall.  After doing a couple summer camps, he was excited to play on a team.  They decided on "Space Angry Birds" as their name, and Jake and James are still doing the pregame cheer.

It was great, and really low key. Just a couple practices a week and a game of 3 on 3 or 4 on 4 with a different team each Saturday.  Robyn's favorite part was that the goals are left undefended and that the coaches actually run around on the field with their players.  My favorite part was watching Jake's caution and over analysis keep him a safe distance from the mob of kicking cleats.  The trouble is, that this generally kept him a pretty safe distance from the ball as well.

But the couple times that the ball was kicked his way, he had some pretty fancy foot work.  He even had his first break away, complete with a perfectly placed goal!  And after witnessing me cheer and almost cry, Robyn declared me an official soccer mom.

I don't know about all of that, but I was so proud of him and I think we will definitely do it again in the Spring.

4) Jake is reading his first words!  I could go on for days about all of Jake's (and James') success at home school, but I will save that for its own list.  For now I will just say that Jake has started on the road to reading and I know it will open up a whole new world for him!

5) Jake got his first filling today.  I know that sounds like a silly first to include, but he did amazing.  He was so brave, I don't think he even needed me in the room.  As the dentist leaned into numb him up, I got ready to jump up to squeeze his hand and comfort him, but he didn't even flinch.  I guess it was just a moment that caused me to sit back and take notice to what a confident and self assured boy he is becoming.  I love that he can speak for himself and that he has no difficulty articulated what he needs or how he feels, even in a situation that was new and intimidating.  I pray that this is a strength that will grow with him.

6) Jake just completed his first full semester with Ms. Robin, his violin teacher at Austin Peay.  And December 8th was his very first violin concert!!!

Obviously, this was a huge first for this year.  I was pretty confident he would be fine, but he was prefect!  The youngest by almost two years, he was a natural on that stage (I think he must have inherited that performing bug)!  He carried himself beautifully, every note in See Saw was clear, and he circled off with drama and flare.

Oh Jacob William,  you are still my cutest boy (the 1st).  It seems that before I had have even held you for the first time, people are already telling me...warning me really...about how "quickly" you would grow up.  And even though these frequent reminders got annoying, and even a little haunting, in many ways I am grateful for them.
As I have watched you grow, learn, and change this year I cannot argue that the time does go by fast...flies even.  There is hardly any more "baby" in our growing boy.  But I am lucky, because as I reflect back, I know that I didn't take any of your precious baby time for granted.  I have squeezed in as much holding and cuddling and snuggling as these years have allowed.  Even now, I love that you still find your way into my bed in the middle of every night and how you still want me to lay with you as you fall asleep.  You will always be my baby.  And I hope that as I look back at this time in your life, I will feel like we embraced this precious and exciting stage with the same fullness and joy.  We love you and are eternally grateful that you are ours.

Silver Linings and Snap Shots

Oh little blog it has been too long.  Honestly, I find myself mentally "writing" blog posts over and over the last few days...while I sweep, fold laundry, pick up the never ending trail of miniature dinosaurs and literally millions of tiny soldiers and race cars...I am mentally writing.  And since both children are both sleeping, at the exact same time, and it is before 11 o'clock, now is my chance. :-)

This is going to be a rambling blog...I have so many thoughts and so many moments I want to record...and never any time.  Okay, that is not entirely true, but sometimes staying up too late watching Hulu is the only thing I can manage at the end of the day.  But with the end of the year rapidly coming to a close, I feel like I better get typing.  Because as difficult as it is to have Arthur deployed, I am still blessed with the crazy beautiful life of raising our boys while he is away.  Within this trial I see all of us growing, changing, and becoming even more focused on what is important...and how can I not want to preserve that?

Since I have started this blog, I have always liked lists...there is something organized and stress free about them.  So I'd like to start with some of the silver linings during our deployment rain cloud.

At "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown" with my babies.  We miss Daddy, but we still have lots of fun!

1) The biggest and most undeniable blessing, is the way our entire family has turned to Christ.  For me it hit before Arthur left.  I was overcome with panic and anxiety about being alone and attempting to raise our boys without him.  That, combined with the fear and uncertainly of sending my husband off to war, was crippling.  I remember thinking over and over, "I cannot raise these babies alone!"  Then my father offered me some simple and inspied advice.  "Just get to sacrament meeting."  Even though a million excuses filled my mind, most of them involving my two busy boys, I also knew they were exactly reason I needed to get there.

Ready for church in California with our Tennessee style :-)

Since the decision, to follow my father's council, my life has taken a change for the better.  And each day, as I strive to a line my life with the will of my Savior and as I work to teach my children truth and light, I am blessed with a peace that I could never have thought possible during this time.  "Jesus loves me!" James told me tonight during family home evening.  Yes, he does.  And I am learning that if we do our best, he really will do the rest.

2) My boys are becoming best friends, and I think having Daddy gone has expedited that process.

They need each other in a way they wouldn't if Arthur was here.  James wants to be just like his big brother and Jake loves to show him everything he knows.

The other night, Jake helped James say family prayer.  I know, where is the video camera for that one?!  It was the sweetest thing ever (especially since James has a prayer voice that is an octave above us normal speaking voice).

I have also started to dress them exactly the same.  And while this fulfils a life long dream for me, it also keeps James happy.  However, he is specific.  If Jake's jacket is zipped, James' jacket must be zipped, and if Jake has his hood on, James will not be content until his is too.

If Jake wanted to, he could just drive us all crazy by taking his shoes on and off all day.  But usually he uses his big brother power for good...usually.  They still have their moments....lots of them...daily.  But even in those they are learning, I think.

3) When someone is gone, you miss them...

Quaint, I know.  But really, I know how amazing Arthur is.  I know that I am a better me when he is around.  I always say, "he keeps my feet on the ground."  But when someone is with you all the time, you can't help but take for granted the million little things.  Now that I don't have them, have him, they are so obvious.  I miss talking to him while I make dinner (and I miss having someone who will actually eat more than 3 bites of the dinner I make), I miss that new light bulbs go in before I have even realized the old one burned out, I miss his talent for for thought and planning, and I miss listening to him teach the boys to throw a football and the way the game always ends in a heap of "wrassling," tickling, and lots of laughing.  So while I look forward to the end of this deployment, when I get my husband back and boys have their Daddy, I also try to be grateful for a chance realize how lucky I am to have him.  I love you, Honey.  I am proud to be your wife and I am grateful to have you as my best friend and partner on this crazy ride called life.

1+2=3

1 deployed Daddy + James' 2nd Birthday = 3 Celebrations

It's craziness, I know it!  But I can't help if he has lots of people in his life that love him (and his big brother) and can't wait for an excuse to spoil (myself included).

It started on our trip to California.  We had to squeeze in one last trip while James was still my little "lap child."  It was an impromptu decision but, the Saturday afternoon before we were to leave, Ama said, "I want to throw James birthday party!" And before the sun had even set, she had planned the whole thing.  It was just a small family get together, but to have food, cake, and guests all arranged in several hours was impressive!

Ready for Round 1

Picking out James gift was also an event...a Costco (stocked for Christmas) event.  Ama pushed James in the shopping cart and let him select all his own gifts.  Her strategy was to slowly passing by each toy and then to stop at each one that caught his attention.  Next she would line up several of these "eye catching toys" in order to observe his favorites!  A lengthy but effective process...and one that only a grandma would do. :-) With the cart already full of the "winners," this shopping duo found the crown jewel of little boy toys...plush rocking horses piled up and the end of the isle.  Now these were not just any rocking horses.  When you push these horses' ears, their heads bob, their tails move, they whinny, and gallop.  James was instantly in love, and Ama couldn't wait to make this little cowboys dream come true.  

She pulled him out of the cart and placed on of every color in front of him.  As he carefully inspected each one, other children passed by, each looking longingly at these amazing horses.  Some even stopped to ensure he made the right choice.  And as he finally settled on one, I couldn't help but wonder how in the world I was going to get it (and the rest of the toys) on home. 

The "party" itself was fun.  Surrounded by his Ama and Apa, tios, several great aunts and uncles, and even his welita, James 2nd year was celebrated with lots of love and tons of toys (that I still was unclear how to get home).  

James actual birthday happened a few weeks after we got back to Tennessee.  I didn't have much planned on the actual day because I had planned a little party for him that weekend.  

Birthday morning, ready to unwrap his gifts

But Grandma Rise and Grandpa Dave planned a fun special delivery for our birthday boy.  It was exciting for both the boys as they rushed to door to retrieve the beautiful birthday edible arrangement.

They both had a great time eating it, and since I had no B-day cake for that night, the chocolate covered pineapples shaped like cupcakes make the perfect "Happy Birthday" song substitute.

The party party happened just two days later, and while it was a little stressful to get it all together as a "single" mom, I am so glad we did it!  We went with a barn animal theme...basically just an excuse to do crafts and hear James made his sheep sound effects.

 We had cake!

Decorations

Family

Friends

Crafts

And more crafts

One silly older brother

And one VERY happy Birthday Boy!