Our Big Baby Jonah Bear

Blogging = Pictures.  There is no way around it.  When I sit down to write and I start to reflect, I immediately realize how behind I am at journaling this little life of ours.  This triggers the uncontrallable impulse to grab my camera and "capture a moment."

So the lucky winner of today's little photo shoot is our little Jonah Bear!  

His four month birthday is still a over a week away but according to my latest Osh Kosh order, he is the size of the average nine month old.  At 18.6 lbs, I am pretty sure he is trying to keep pace with his Grandpa Dave, who weighted something like 32 lbs on his 1st birthday.  All my babies have been chunky, but Jonah is our first "big" baby.  He is the first one to be setting the curves on the growth charts for weight and height.  He looks just like Jamie did as a baby, except he is literally twice the size.  We all love it even if carrying him around has become a serious work out!

When I was pregnant with Jonah, Arthur and I mentioned (more than once) how nice it would be if this new baby had a dispossession like James.  He has always been our sweet one.  Don't get me wrong, we adore Jacob and Scarlett, they are amazing, but James...he is just a little love!  And somehow it happened, so far Jonah is so much like our Jamie Do.  He seems to have a familiar sweetness to his older brother.  And like James, he is also a great little sleeper!  Besides waking up to eat, he has slept during the night since day one.  He actually tried to sleep through his birth.  He seriously didn't cry.  I was so terrified at how quiet he was and I was sure it was because his lungs weren't ready.  I actually tried to hand him to the nurse (cord still attached), but when she waved off the respiratory techs, I realized that he was actually just trying to sleep.

Now that he has finished his "forth" trimester, he is a little less sleepy, but he may actually have James beat as our best sleeper.  He rarely cries, and if he does it usually means he wants his Mommy.  He has the most amazing pouty lip and the most convincing "momma" cry.  But since he is usually in my arms or snuggled tight in the Moby wrap, he stays pretty content.  He has become quite the little talker.  I adore it when he stops eating just to tell me something as he gazes intently into my eyes.  Sometimes I am sure he is saying, "I love you."  His brothers and sisters can't get enough of him, and they have all developed their own little tricks to make him smile and laugh.

As evenident his amazing cheeks and countless rolls, our Jonah is also a stellar nurser!  But nursing is not just about the eating for this boy, it is also about the snuggles.  Jonah is such a cuddle bug!  The only problem is, Daddy and I are the only ones strong enough to hold him.  Jake still pitches in when I need a hand, but it isn't too long before he is begging me to take him back.  Scarlett and James have pretty much given up.  Jonah may be our baby, but I don't think he will be the littlest for long.  But large or small, Jonah fits perfectly into our family.  We love you Sweet Boy!

Loosing Myself in Them

I love taking pictures...especially of my kids, but the problem with taking them is that you are rarely in them.  So, even before Jonah was born, I decided that this time I was going to be in the pictures.  I have been stalking following a local photographer for several years now, and so picking a photographer was an easy choice.

The pictures were taken the day before Jonah turned one month.  When I received the final images last week I was amazed to see how much he has already grown (no, really...my 3 month old weighs 18.6 pounds and is showing no signs of slowing down).

I am in love with these pictures...even the few I am in.  There is something very symbolic to me about the posing...me sitting, surrounded almost completely, by my four amazing children.  People often caution, "Don't loose yourself in your children."  "One day they will grow up and leave," they warn.  And it is true.  One day (all too soon I am sure), they will grow up and begin lives of their own.  It is what they are suppose to do...what I am hopefully raising them to do.  But if not loosing myself in that process is part of the deal, than I have already failed.  And it is too late to go back now, the girl I was, nearly a decade ago, has been forever lost.   But I am okay with that.  Through motherhood, through this process of "loosing"  myself (more and more with each precious addition), I have realized that I am actually finding myself.  And even when they no longer physically surround me, I will still never be just me.  Each one of my children test and bless me in ways that forever alter me.   I am who I am because of them.  Just as I can see myself reflected in each of them, my children have become part of my own refection.

Motherhood, there is nothing else like it...

My Mother's Day Gift to Myself

After I finished a new post last night, I went back to see how long it had been since I had written last.  I knew it had been a while, but... SIX MONTHS!?!?  How in the heck has it been six months!!  I know I say it in nearly every post, but MAN, time flies!

I have no grand ideas that I will catch up or keep up, but here I am again trying to record a memory or two.  I am starting to learn that sometimes you do things even if you can't do them 100%.  I am sure my future self will thank me for whatever I have time to do now, but she will be really angry if I just give up and leave her with nothing.  So future self, just remember, you did your best. :-)

Back in May I decided my Mother's Day gift to the Grandmas (and really to myself) would be updated pictures of my babies.  And over the course of three mini photo shoots, I was able to get some great ones!  Somehow I even got several of them framed and displayed within a couple weeks of taking them...yay for the small victories!

My goal over the next several posts is to dedicate a little time reflecting on each of my children and the milestones they have reached over the last year and share their individual pictures, before I start on that, here are some of my favorites of my kiddos all together back when there were only 3.  When I took these pictures, Jonah's birth seemed forever away, and now he is already 2 months old!  Like I said before, time sure flies!

As homeschool kids, my children get to spend their days together in a unique way.  Despite age differences, they are eachother's peers. Each day they play together, work together, and learn together.  I'm excited to see how Jonah will fit in the mix.  But no matter what,  I pray that the friendships they have formed in childhood will unify them for the rest of their lives.  From my own experience, siblings are the best gift a parent can give their child, and I think my children will feel that same way too.

Counting Blessings and Baby Toes

Unlike his 10 sweet baby toes, there is no way to count the blessings Jonah has brought to our family.   He is such a gift and we feel the light of heaven that he has brought with him every day.

I am continually amazed as I watch my other children as they eagerly love and serve their new little brother.  Jake has become my extra set of hands throughout the day.  I can always count on him to take Jonah for me and he looks like such a little man when he paces and bounces our fussy boy.  James is just as thoughtful and selfless as ever.  He is constantly trying to find ways to make my days easier.  He adores his baby brother, and he thinks it is pretty great that Jonah looks so much like he did as a baby.  Jake and Jamie have this big brother thing down, and I am unbelievably grateful for both of them!  

But it is the growth and changes in my Scarlett that have been the most surprising.  From the second that she met Jonah, she has never once been jealous of him.  That isn't to say that she doesn't ever act out or struggle as she adjusts to all of the changes in her life and her place in our family.  But when it comes to Jonah she has nothing but kisses, soothing words and a frequent requests to hold him.  Not once has she ever directed any of her frustration toward "her baby."  Instead she has become a little momma with him, and being Jonah's big sister is bringing out the best in her.  In the past several weeks, I have seen such a change in her.  The whining has started to fade away, the tantrums are far less frequent, and I can tell that the way she sees herself is also changing.  Becoming a big sister is helping our baby girl begin to outgrow the natural selfishness of childhood.  In little ways she is starting to put the needs of others in front of her own, especially Jonah's.  As I see her confidence in her new role build, her excitement to help increase, and her desire to show love and kindness grow, I am reminded, once again, of the infinite wisdom of our Heavenly Father to organize his children into families.  Families allow us to learn, grow, and love in a way that nothing else could.  And I am eternally grateful for mine!

* I took these pictures about 5 weeks ago.  The day before Jonah turned 1 month old.

3:1

Okay, so I was convinced, like 100% convinced that our new little baby was a girl.  I am not ashamed to admit that I had it all planned out.  Two boys and two girls...it was going to be perfect!  The boys are already inseparable (including the times they are one top of one another trying to kill each other), and now Scarlett would have her sister.  I even had a name picked out and their room decorated, at least mentally.  Scarlett was in total agreement...she was going to have her sister.  None of Arthur's attempts at the contrary were going to change our minds.  Until of course the 20 week ultra sound...now that is pretty hard to argue with.  Spoiler Alert!  This baby is quite definitely not a girl!

He Lives

The week leading up to Easter, we took a pause from nightly Book of Mormon reading. Instead we read from the King James version of the New Testament and studied the last week of Christ earthly ministry together.  In the mornings, the kids and I watched the exceptionally done videos of the Life of Christ.  Each one is so beautiful and they helped make our reading from the previous night come alive.  

Nothing is more important to me than for my children to know that Christ isn't just a character from a book.  I need them to know that Jesus really lived and that He truly is the Only Begotten of our Father in Heaven.  They need to know that, because of His love for us and His Father, He drank the Bitter Cup and atoned for the sins of the world.  They must understand that he truly did rise from the dead on that first Easter morning, and that He lives today as our Savior and King.  

Without Christ there is no real joy, no real peace, and no hope of us every returning to live with our Father in Heaven.  I am grateful that I was raised in a home where I could develop of testimony of my Savior, and I pray that I creating that same opportunity for my children.  

Easter, even more than Thanksgiving, fills me with gratitude!  I am overwhelmed at the love my Savior has for me.  I am reminded how blessed I am to spend my life learning and growing with my little family and that, because of Him, my family can be together forever.  I am grateful for the plan of Salvation and for a Savior who has provided all of us a way home.

I love coloring eggs with my children.  I adore their sleepy excited faces as they search for their hidden Easter baskets on Easter morning.  And my heart sings when my house is full of family and friends for Easter dinner.  However, the most special part of the day is getting to attend church with my family, and partake of the Sacrament.  It is something we have the opportunity to do each week as Latter Day Saints.  But this Easter, as I reflected on Christ serving his disciples the Last Supper, I was overwhelmed with its sacredness and symbolism.  

I fall short each and everyday in my attempts to follow Christ's commandment to "Be you therefore perfect, even as your Father who is in heaven is perfect." -Matthew 5:48  So it is amazing to know that each week I can renew my baptismal covenants and start clean.  I can recommit myself to taking the name of Christ upon me.  Even though I will never find perfection in this life, I am blessed to have a loving older brother who will always make up the difference.  

There is nothing else worth celebrating more than knowing that He lives!

PS Here are a few pictures I took after church.  Scarlett refused to let me do her hair before we left, and after 3 hours of church her eyelashes are sure looking heavy!  The boys were less than enthused to put on their suits, but seriously, look how handsome they look!!

Easter Eve

Holy Smokes!  You know those days, when you have so much to do and you know there is no possible way you can get it all done?  Easter weekend was that way for me.  I was stressed about it all week, but with Daddy back on the truck full time, it is impossible for me to get anything done without my little crew.  And let's face it, it is difficult to surprise anyone if they are with you all the time.

Luckily, Aunt Robyn came to the rescue (as she so often does), and I was able to slip away for an hour before our starting our crazy soccer Saturday.  After two games, a couple of errands, and some dinner at Crackle Barrel, we finally got back home.  While we were all dirty and tired, we still had one more thing that couldn't wait...it was time to color our Easter eggs!

I ask for a little grace on the photos.  In my effort to get things done, it is obvious that changing the white balance on my camera did not make that list...hence my yellow children, and I am not referring to their soccer jerseys.  But hey, I documented the moment, right?