A Public "Thank You" for Prayers and Parents

The early arrival of our beautiful son James brought a level of fear and stress that Arthur nor I had ever experienced.  During other times of sadness or trial, my mother has often reminded me of opposition in life.  She would explain that we must feel hard things as deeply and fully as we feel the wonderful things.  James' birth caused us to feel both extremes in nearly the same moment.
As James' days in the NICU dragged on, I mentioned to my father that this was the most stressed I had ever been.  But then I realized, what else could be more stressful than watching your own child struggle for each breath?  And because Arthur and I were both going through the same thing, it was difficult for us to comfort one another.  But before we could be completely swallowed by our fear and sadness, reinforcements arrived.
It started with the power of prayer, prayers from family, friends, and even people we have never met.  I am overwhelmed by all the people who took time out of their lives to pray for our family and our sweet baby in our time of need.  I know that these prayers were heard and answered, along with the blessings and positive thoughts and energy from so many.  I know this is just a little blog, but I want to use it to publicly thank those of you who showered us with love and support during this time.  Words truly cannot express out gratitude.
During James' first few days at the NICU, his condition got progressively worse.  For hours I would sit with my eyes fixed on the monitor above his bed.   I would stare at the numbers in hope of some indicator that my sick baby was getting better... trying to will them to improve.  During those days Alabama has never felt further from California.  My sister, who now also lives in the South (my father said she would follow my babies anywhere), was amazing.  She came every weekend, but with a new job, a new apartment, and bills to pay we could not expect her to put her life completely on hold for us.  And then California came to us.
Arthur's father was the first to arrive.  He jumped in ready to love, entertain, and spoil.  As hard as it was for me to let Arthur and his dad take Jake home,  I knew it was what they all needed... a few days of normal.  Okay maybe not normal, but between the homemade Mexican food, non stop fun with Apa for Jake, and several house projects Arthur's dad took on, Jake and Arthur were given some distraction and relief from our situation.  And it brought me comfort, knowing that as much as my heart hurt to be away from them, they were being taken care of.
Jake, had been my buffer from the pain.  His dimpled smile and cuddly hugs were a great distraction each time I walked out of the NICU with empty arms.  With him gone, I really felt the deep loneliness of being separated from the baby who had been inside me just days before.  My parents arrival came just in time because I don't know when I have needed them more.  I know how difficult travelling is on my mom, so it meant even more to have her by my side as we sat with James.  And I know that James felt her love too, as she sang him the same songs she use to sing to us as babies and rubbed his tiny head.  And my dad's ability to always know just I need without me having to ask is what got me though each of those difficult days.  He was the perfect companion, that week, as he drove me back and forth to the hospital.  He knew when to let me vent, when to talk about something else, and when to let the silence linger.  Their presence was such a gift to me and to Arthur because he knew I was being taken care of.
Sometimes, even as adults, you just need your Mom and Dad.  I am so grateful to Arthur's dad and to my parents for being here for us.  Because they came to care for their babies, they helped give us the strength to take care of ours. 
Parents and prayers, we couldn't have gotten through time time without them.

The Original Three

Call it was coincidence or maybe just good luck, but we went out and took family pictures the day before Baby James joined our family.  While I don't think they will work as our Christmas Card photo (now let's just say Happy New Years Card by the time we get around to taking new pictures and sending them out) since a very important forth member of our family members is somewhat under represented here, I love that we captured our last day as just the three of us.

I remember the father, of the favorite family I use to babysit for as a teenager, referring to his oldest daughter as a "member of the original team."  He went on to explain that she had been there from the beginning.  She had lived in their first little apartment and had been there as he starting his career.  In other words, she had been around for the early "growing pains" of their young family.  This is just how I feel about Jacob.  There is no doubt that this special boy has been there for our family's growing pains...and we had our share of them.

 

While he probably won't remember a lot of it (especially the parts where he was still inside me), Arthur and I will always consider him part of our "original team."  Jake has moved with me ten times (to some places that have been nicer than others), grew in my tummy as I finished my last semester of college, and took naps in a little red wagon in the back office as I ran a swim school.  Jake is the reason Arthur made the decision to join the army and he was the light and joy that kept me going during the time Arthur was away.  Jake was just as proud of Arthur as I was when he graduated WOCS, and he was just as excited as we were when we moved into our first house.  He even told me I was pregnant the day I found out.  This list could go on and on...Jake has been with us through it all.

Last night I jokingly asked Arthur when my birthday was (when asked during a moment of high stress this past month he couldn't recall it).  To be funny he answered with Jake's birthday.  And that is pretty close to the truth...or maybe it should be the day I found out we were expecting. 

Jacob's life reset ours.  He gave us a new focus and direction, one based on family, love, stability, and each other.  In the process of continually trying to create the best life we can for Jake, it is Jake who brings out the best in both of us. 

Jake has helped to shape the family that his little brother and any future children are born into.  Some people refer to the first born as the guinea pig child, but Jake didn't just help us learn to be parents...he helped us learn to be ourselves.

 

On the way home from one of our trips to the hospital, before James was ready to come home, Arthur asked me what my dreams where for the future.  I had a hard time coming up with anything, because I am so happy and blessed in my life as it is right now.  Since I was a little girl this is the life I dreamed of.  It may not have happened when I planned, and I might not always be perfect at it, but I am grateful every day we were picked to be Jake's parents.  And no matter how many children we have, it was Jacob that first made my dreams come true, he made me a Mommy.

 

We love you Jacob Williamest Boy!  TIL FOREVER

Hosting Thanksging for the First Time

Before anyone is too impressed, let me set the record straight.  Thanksgiving was at our house, but I did not make the entire meal. Truth be told, I didn't even make the turkey...or the ham.  I left that up to the Kimber's.  And let me just mention that their deep fried flavor injected turkey did not disappoint. What I really wanted was an excuse to decorate, an opportunity to set our table with the beautiful china and silver Arthur's grandmother handed down to us.  My mother called it "the perfect nesting activity."  And considering what occurred just a few days later, maybe it was a little too perfect.  I guess we should have known something was up when I started tracing leave on the kids table...

Jake and I spent the day before cleaning and cooking.  My dad, being the Martha Stewart that he is, started the tradition of finding incredible recipes from Better Homes and Gardens and that is a yummy tradition I was not willing to leave in California.  Jake and I added pumpkin cornbread, green beans with caramelized onions and goat cheese, and whipped sweet potatoes with real maple syrup and marshmallows to the other delicious food that everyone else was bringing.  Oh, and I can't forget!  We also made the cranberry cake that a family friend was sweet enough to resend to me.

As I mentioned on previous blogs Jake is quite the little helper so he was 100% into operation "Thanksgiving Prep."  However, he his only two and a half so he can get a little over zealous about things.  For example, spraying cleaner.  It is one of his favorite "jobs" but I do have to watch it or I end up with puddles of Clorox Green Works on every surface of the family room...but I do love that he loves to help.  And lets just say that when our guest arrived the following day, our house smelled very clean.

Jake can also get a little crazy with his mixing.  He claims he is "making sandcastles" but all I see is flour and sugar spilling from mixing bowls and onto the counter.  Unfortunately, the day before Thanksgiving, with so many things on my to do list, there were a few moments when Jake's excitement exceeded my patience threshold.  As I listened to myself sternly ask him to stop doing something or another for the countless time, I found myself hoping that being scolded would not be the thing Jake remembered about this day.  So I did my best to relax and just be thankful for the little blessing crouched shirtless on the counter as he insisted on doing nearly everything by himself.

Yep, everything took quite a bit longer and was much messier than if I had done it alone, but where would the fun or the learning be in that.  Holidays are about time with family, and on this Thanksgiving, our last one before Baby James, I am grateful for the special one on one time I had with Jake.

As I reflect on all the other things I am thankful for this year, it is impossible not to acknowledge how far we have come as a family since last year and how blessed we have been by Arthur joining the army.  Last Thanksgiving Arthur was in his second month of basic training and Jake and I were at home missing him like crazy and counting down the days till he'd be home for Christmas exodus.  So the blessing of being together in our beautiful home was already wonderful and then getting to share the day with the amazing friends that we have met made the day even better.

While we miss our family and friends back in California terribly, I am grateful for this time in Alabama and for all the people and experiences we would never have had without it.  It was a beautiful day filled with amazing friends, incredible food, and lots of good laughs.

When I look back on this day I want to remember Jake happily eating at the kids table with his best buddies the Haymore boys,
the Kimber's skyping, April's oyster stuffing, and Baby James busy in my tummy.

Magic in the Second Time

Don't get me wrong, there are many things about being pregnant for the second time that are harder.  Like what happened to those impromptu naps that I enjoyed so much the first time?  The kind where you wake up and after a bowl of cereal and three trips to the bathroom you decide that you really aren't ready for the day and head back to bed.  Yep, I miss that.  Or when some lower back pain was more than enough of an excuse to lie on the couch all day and watch Lifetime.  Nope that is definitely not happening this time around.  And those seven o'clock bed times...being the mommy of a busy two year old makes all of that a distant memory.  No, Jake does not care about my sciatica or the fact that I am exhausted because I couldn't get comfortable the night before (likely because fell asleep in his bed after reading books).  But the truth is, I really wouldn't want him to.
With all that said, there really is a magic to the second time around.  Of course, my pregnancy with Jake was amazing and wonderful, but this time is different.  I think it is because I know now something I couldn't have even imagined then.  I now know how the earth stops the second they hand you this new little person.  The way you can almost feel your heart growing in your chest in some feeble attempt to contain the infinite and unconditional love you feel for this new life and the incredible person you made him with.  Over the last few months it seems that every time I look at Jacob I relive the moment they placed him in my arms.  As all emotions come flooding back I can't help but get excited to experience it again with our next son.

Pictures from the 4-D ultra sound 11/12

James refused to move his hand away from his face

Seeing these just makes me want him here :-)

It isn't just the memories of Jacob's birth that make this pregnancy so special, but it is also the joy of sharing this pregnancy with him.  Arthur, of course, is just as fun this time and James is getting just as much Daddy attention as Jake did.  I feel so blessed to have a husband who falls just as in love with our babies as I do before they even get here.  But this time there is an extra set of hands feeling for baby kicks and punches and a new little voice saying sweet things to my belly.  I love having conversations with him about what the baby is doing inside my tummy and answering his questions about fetal development and umbilical cords (he asks a lot of questions).  Jake has also been a great companion at my doctor appointments.  Each time they check the baby's heart beat, Jake's eyes light up.  But some of my favorite moments over the last several months are times when Jake and I are snuggling and I can feel Baby James moving between us.  It is at moments like this that the blessing of being the Mommy to these two boys comes into clear focus.  The best is at bed time when Jake is just about to drift off and in a sweet sleepy voice he whispers into the darkness, "I wanna feel the baby," and after placing his hand over his brother he falls asleep...it's magic...beautiful magic.

Family Day

This past Wednesday was another fun day for our family, it was Family Day for Arthur's flight class.  After 4 weeks of primary flight training, it was time for the students to show off their hard work.  While this was obviously Jake's first time watching Arthur in action, I was a little surprised by my own excitement until I realized it was my first time watching Arthur fly too.  Yep, even after all of Arthur's previous flight time I have never seen him fly a helicopter, at least not in person.  And it did feel a little surreal as Jake and I stood behind the fence and watched Arthur make his initial decent into a hoover right in front of us.

It has been a long road to get here and it felt like such a family victory to see him fly.  I know that Arthur never would have made the decision to fly for the army if it hadn't in the best interest of us as a family, but I am so happy that he found a way to provide for us while doing what he loves.  Although, right now, Arthur might tell you his personal excitement has been a little dulled by the 3 am alarm clock and the assessment to "be the book" aka memorize paragraph upon paragraph verbatim.  Nevertheless Jake and I couldn't be more proud of him.

Jake, of course, was over the moon to spend the afternoon at the air field watching all the helicopters fly in around us.  I really don't think that there is a job on the planet that a little boy would think was more exciting than a helicopter pilot.  On Arthur's first day on the flight line, he brought Jake home a model of the TH-67 to explain and commemorate the day.  Since then, Jake has been very clear on what Arthur is flying each day at work.  Each time we see one fly over head Jake announces, "That is just like the one Daddy flies!"  And when he is asked, "What does your Daddy fly?" he doesn't just give a mispronounced version of the word "helicopter" like I think people expect.  Instead Jake puffs out his little chest and with all the pride and love in the world states, "My Daddy flies a training helicopter!" 

The cutest part of the day was when Arthur finished his flight.  The second Jake spotted Arthur walking toward us, Jake was in a full sprint and continued running along side Arthur until the fence between them ended. Then the two of them threw their arms around each other like they'd been apart for months.   Luckily Mommy was ready with the camera to catch it. :-)

 

I will admit I did have Jake and I color coordinated with Arthur on purpose.  I was hoping for some family photo op...and here it is.  With Jake's eyes closed it may not make the Christmas card cut, but it is still pretty cute.

And for the icing on the cake, Jake got to check out the inside of a "training helicopter."

Spots

I must have had some Mommy intuition when I helped Jake pick out his 13 new books at the library this week.  We came home with one story called Iris Has a Virus and another called Lots of Spots.  Well, now Jake has a virus that gives him lots of spots...itchy ones on his hands and feet.  Yep, he has the dreaded hand, foot and mouth disease.  Gross huh?  Unfortunately, it seems to be going around town and with 90% of the population all going to the same doctor's office I imagine it will be difficult to contain.
When I found out that we had been exposed last Saturday I did my best to keep Jake quarantined, but by Tuesday night we were both getting a little stir crazy and since he was still symptom free I thought we had dodged the bullet.  No, such luck...Friday afternoon I couldn't deny the little rash forming on the palms of his hand and feet.
Luckily his case seems pretty mild.  No fever to speak of and most importantly, no fever blisters in or around his mouth.   That would have been a nightmare!  So you might be asking, "Why is she sharing this?"  A funny Jake moment of course...
So yesterday morning, after taking his baby Tylenol and having his hands and feet lathered in hydrocortisone cream (all in an attempt to control the itching), Jake sat quietly eating his breakfast.  All of a sudden he started examining his hands and after a few seconds asked, "Why do I have so many fire ant bites!?"  "Remember in our book last night when Iris got a virus that made her throw up?  Well, you got a virus that gave you bumps," I explained.
A look of complete disgust spread over Jake's face as he lifted his hands up and away from his body.  He held them there for at least a minute looking straight ahead refusing to speak to either of us.  He looked so mad!  I guess even Jake realizes how yucky it is.
Don't worry Baby you'll get better soon and we still think you are adorable...spots and all.

A Hands on Halloween

I can't take credit for all of it, but we had one fun October and quite a hands on Halloween.  We made crafts, decorated cookies, went to the pumpkin patch (twice), carved pumpkins, trunk or treated, trick or treated...it was quite a month!

Sometime last year I decided that it would be a fun family tradition to make decorations each year for the various holidays.  The short term benefit: a fun creative activity to do as a family.  The long term benefit: each holiday filling our home with decorations that hold warm fun memories of years past. Here are a few pictures from the Halloween 2010 collection. :-)  It took two FHE to complete these beauties!

Hard at work

Planning his next stroke

The final product. 
Daddy-Bat, Mommy-Cat, Jake-Pumpkin

We were also lucky enough to be included in the Halloween tradition of our friends the Haymore's.  Toddlers decorating sugar cookies, what could be more fun?!  Oh that's right, fighting with lightsabers.

"Decorating" to Jake meant grabbing handfuls of candy and attempting to balance as much on cookie as possible.

Cookies are for little boys...and big boys!

    

Let the battle begin

I loved the pumpkin patch as a child.  I have so many great memories of picking out the prefect pumpkin, eating pumpkin ice cream, riding rocking horses, and spending the day with family.  Although, I can't perfectly recreate those memories for Jake, I love getting to create new ones with him.  They may be different, but they are just as wonderful because nothing is as beautiful or exciting as the world through the eyes of a child.  This year felt even more special because Arthur was with us.  While Jake and I did make the most of our Halloween last year, it just wasn't the same with Daddy away at boot camp.  So here we are, all three (almost four) of us and Aunt Robyn at the pumpkin patch in Sweet Home Alabama.

Is there anything sweeter that a Daddy with his baby?

 

Now what good is a trip to the pumpkin patch without a messy ewy gooey pumpkin carving activity? Exactly...so the week before Halloween, we all pulled up our pj sleeves, spread a garbage bag over our front walk way, and got to work.  Last year Jake refused to get near pumpkin guts so it was fun to see him and Arthur working side by side.  As for our "outfits," what can I say?  Think of it as a window into our weekend mornings.

I forgot to get a carving kit so we had to make due with tools from the kitchen

 

Leaning over a pumpkin when you feel like a pumpkin made for an interesting challenge.

And the hard work pays off. :)

This past Halloween weekend was a busy one.  Friday night was our wards Trunk-or-Treating/Chili Cook Off party.  I was a fun night, and after putting together a cute cowboy costume it was nice to have more than one place for Jake to wear it...especially since this party had a kids' costume fashion show.  Jake was a little confused about the whole process, but it made it even funnier and cuter watching Benjamin and Jake "lose" the rest of the parade and wonder aimlessly. 

While he made have been confused about the parade, there was no confusion when it came to getting candy.  Jake was an expert Trunk-or-Treater.  At one point I got caught up taking to someone and he just continued down the line or parked cars.  I finally caught up to him three cars later and watched him confidently walk up to the trunk, clearly say "Trick or Treat," receive his candy, politely say thank you, and move on.  What does he even need me for?  After we had completed our rounds of the church parking lot, he was also a fabulous candy hander outer...his only issue was being slightly too generous...maybe a small case of "do unto others?"
Saturday was the official day to celebrate Halloween since the holiday actually fell on a Sunday this year.  Remember we are living in the Bible belt. Our neighborhood threw an awesome block party with bounce houses and everything.  Getting Jake dressed up the second day in a row was slightly more of a challenge.  I don't know if it was the fun morning playing with Daddy and no nap or Jake just getting into character as a restless untamable cowboy but it was way more work the second time.

 

 

But his attitude made for some really cute cowboy shots...good work with the camera Daddy!

 

 

 

The party was fun.  It was amazing to see how many kids there are in our little neighborhood and I enjoyed mingling with some of the adults.  Although, it was kind of a warm day so I  admit I didn't make the rounds the way I had hoped.  I just went from one shade structure to the other.  So unless they were in the shade too, I probably didn't introduce myself.  Jake isn't a fan of the bounce houses, but he had a great time bowling and sat very still while the "scary bat" he requested was painted on his face.
After the party we were on the Halloween home stretch.  All we had left was the grade finale, Trick or Treating.  Accompanied by the Haymore's and the Kimber's we set out.  Here we all are ready to hit the streets.

 

Note: Grandpa and Baby Evelyn are missing from this picture

Jake was definitely a confident cowboy as he strutted up drive ways and expertly rang doorbells.  At several houses after saying "trick or treat" and receiving his candy he just stood there, like if he was cute enough they would give him another handful.  It is possible to have too much confidence. :-) 

But there was something about watching him saunter from house to house that was pretty priceless.  His confidence was broken, however, when a man in a scary skull mask and crazy wig attempted to hand him candy.  Upon seeing him, Jake stopped in his tracks and would not move forward an inch (even holding my hand) and demanded that the man, "Take off your mask."  Luckily his wife was in less scary face paint and Jake was able to except candy from her.
While I expected Jake to want to trick or treat all night, he was pretty much done after that.  I think we got to one more house before he announced that his legs no longer worked and that he would have to be carried.  No one had any objections to calling it a night.  So after only one block we headed home.  A fun night to end a very fun month.

 

Can't wait to see what November has in store...we just need a few good naps first.